People are lonely because instead of bridges they build walls. (c) Stanislav Jerzy Lec Loneliness - what causes suffering in it? "I'm so lonely," "No one loves me," "Who cares I need someone like this" - I often hear such phrases from beautiful girls (women) in my psychological work. In the process of interaction, we step by step, carefully, slowly and gradually reveal these beliefs, follow them, they already indicate the vector in which an important resource. Let’s see how you can reveal them: “I’m so lonely” - what do you want when you are lonely? What feeling prevails in this loneliness? This loneliness, what is it like? What metaphor can you choose? “Nobody loves me” - with what feeling do you say that? To whom can this message be addressed? Can this be rephrased as “I want to be loved”? Who do you love? What is Love for you? “But who needs me like that” - what kind of “like that”? How do you feel about yourself like this? Do you need one for yourself? What kind of person do you want to be? And it turns out that behind each personal story hides its own unique and inimitable experience of loneliness, its own meaning of suffering, its own unique need, which is currently not satisfied and requires our attention. Did you notice that in the title of the article I pointed specifically to the fight against loneliness? There is an opinion that suggests that you need to fight loneliness. Yes, you can fight it. Fight with yourself, with your experiences, with your pain. You can fight with that part of you that needs attention most. But who will win in such a fight? Perhaps for a while you will be able to suppress this part of yourself that is lonely, as if telling it “I don’t want to hear you, you don’t exist, I I don’t want to suffer, go away.” But it (this part) will find ways to manifest itself again in the form of experiences, states, dreams, bodily symptoms, spontaneous images or obsessive thoughts. There are no winners in the fight with oneself. There is only a process of struggle - a conflict that takes a lot of energy. And, given that everyone experiences the feeling of loneliness in their own way, the question can be reformulated in different ways. For example: How to build harmonious relationships? How to have fun alone? How to learn to feel safe? Everything here is very individual. Thank you for reading the article to the end! And now a question for you... How do you feel your loneliness? What is it like for you? What would you like to do with it? Write in the comments. Put “Thank you” if you liked the article. And subscribe to my page to receive notifications about new articles and notes :)