From the author: ... A PERSON WHO IS DEPRESSED SHOULD NOT BE LEFT ALONE, BUT JUST BE NEAR. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO CONVINCE THAT HE IS WRONG, TO YELL AT HIM, TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING. JUST PATIENTLY INVESTIGATE HIM BELIEF IN THE BEST AND TURN HIM ON TO A NEW WAVE OF LIFE, TELLING THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE OK. IN ANY DEPRESSION, A REASSESSMENT OF LIFE AND SPIRITUAL VALUES OCCURS, AND, UNDERSTANDING THAT SOMEONE IS NEAR SUCH A PERSON: SOFT, PATIENT, UNDERSTANDING, AN EMPATHY PERSON IS SUCH AN INDIVIDUAL SLOWLY, BUT STILL STILL STARTING TO RETURN TO NORMAL. I SINCERELY WISH YOU ALL TO LIVE WITHOUT DEPRESSION AND LOVE THIS LIFE! Someone close to you is experiencing depression. You feel compassion for him and at the same time a feeling of helplessness. Trying to “pull” him out of a painful state, you give him advice with the best intentions. However, most often these same tips have the opposite effect. How to behave correctly if your relative or friend is depressed? What mistakes should you avoid when being around him? Dangerous mistakes 1. A person suffering from depression should not be encouraged to “pull himself together”, gather strength, show will, not “sour”, etc. In such a state, he is already characterized by weak will, apathy, indecision, experiences a feeling of powerlessness and inferiority. The call to “pull yourself together” can only exacerbate the sufferer’s feelings of despair and hopelessness. 2. There is no need to try to cheer up a depressed person, encourage him to “shake himself up”, take part in the “celebration of life”, have fun and give himself pleasure. He himself would like to do all this, but he just can’t... For this reason, it is useless to explain to him: “how beautiful this world is and how many interesting things are around.” 3. Do not try to convince a depressed comrade that he has no reason for despondency and emotional distress, claiming that “in general, everything is fine with him.” People who are depressed perceive such words as a lack of understanding by loved ones of their torment. Or even as a mockery. And this can only cause a new attack of melancholy. 4. By advising a person immersed in “black melancholy” to go on vacation or go to a sanatorium for treatment, you are making a serious mistake. Being in an unusual environment, among strangers, your depressed relative or friend will experience an even greater sense of inferiority, uncertainty and mental discomfort. 5. For someone suffering from mental anguish, a constant pitying attitude toward him, anxious glances directed at him, and a feeling of special attention to his person are harmful. The endlessly asked questions about his well-being, mood, appetite also do not have the best effect on him... It is unacceptable to act in relation to the sufferer in exactly the opposite way, pretending that nothing special is happening. With such external indifference, he may develop a feeling of uselessness. 6. Do not enter into an argument with a depressed person if he assures you of his imaginary guilt, or exaggerates his painful feelings. The result of attempts to dissuade him can only be a feeling of hostility and alienation on his part. 7. Do not say phrases that could cause the person experiencing blues and feelings of guilt. His attention should not be focused on the fact that there are many people in the world who have it much worse and who experience even greater suffering. 8. Do not shower the patient with practical advice, asking him, for example, to use breathing exercises or relaxing baths. Even if you have read several articles or books about depression, this does not mean that you are able to provide real effective help to the sufferer. 9. Refrain from banal “wise” statements like: “After a dark period there will come a white one,” “Who has it easy now?”, “Life is not an easy thing,” “Only you yourself can overcome your condition,” etc. Similar phraseswill only show that you do not realize that depression is a real illness from which the person close to you has not yet “climbed out.” So, when communicating with a loved one suffering from depression, do not say the following or similar phrases: “Stop whining! What do you actually lack, everything is fine with you!” “Pull yourself together and get all these bad thoughts out of your head.” “Who said that life is an easy thing?” “Don’t be stupid, there are plenty of people around who have it worse than you.” “Well, smile, a smile suits you!” “Think about your mother (wife, child...), you are causing her so much worry. She didn't deserve this." “Maybe you should take a herbal bath (drink a soothing infusion, eat something tasty)?” How to behave correctly if your loved one is depressed Communicating with a person suffering from depression is not easy. And, unfortunately, there are not many effective means in your arsenal to help him. All you can do is just to get through this difficult period with dignity together with your loved one. Without attacks of despair, refraining from reproaches and outbursts of emotions, showing only love and understanding... Correct actions: 1. The most important thing is to take care of yourself, take care of your health. As strange as it may sound, the most important thing you can do in this situation is to take care of yourself first. (Co)experiencing the depression of a loved one and communicating with him takes a lot of mental strength and requires a lot of patience and love. You will only have these powers if you yourself are healthy. If you get sick, it will be bad not only for you, but also for your suffering relative. And this will further aggravate his feelings of guilt. 2. You can actively help a patient with depression only after the end of the “acute phase”. When his condition improves, he will be able to respond appropriately and allow you to help him. 3. At a time when your loved one is depressed, you can, first of all, be and remain close, going through these difficult times with him. Be there unobtrusively, without doubts and reservations, showing wisdom and patience, refraining from any “good” advice. Ask the patient if he needs anything. Place a bouquet of fresh flowers in his room. Light an aroma lamp using essential oils that have the property of helping with depressive disorders (essential oils of bergamot, jasmine, lavender, lemon balm, orange). Cook his favorite dish and don't get angry if he doesn't eat it. Leave his room if you understand that he wants to be alone. But at the same time, stay close. So that he knows that he can call you at any moment. Do not doubt: your love, attention and care will be pleasant to the patient, even if he cannot show his gratitude. 4. Help him get rid of fear. A depressed person's greatest fear is being abandoned. He thinks he is unworthy of love. Depression intensifies this fear. Your task is to rid him of these fears with your actions and words. You can show him that you love him just by being around him all the time. Don't forget to tell him how much he means to you. And do this as often as possible. It doesn’t matter that your loved one often questions the sincerity of your confessions. Don’t be embarrassed by the feeling that this situation is repeating itself for the nth time. 5. A person experiencing depression also fears that he is “crazy.” And in this case, you can calm him down with your words and behavior and show that you treat him as a mentally complete person if you behave naturally and normally. 6. Be sincere. Never tell someone experiencing spiritual anguish that you yourself do not sincerely believe. In a state of depression, people tend to question the goodwill and good intentions of their loved ones, heightened sense of falsehood. When pronouncing words of love and consolation, never be deceitful,.