This is a feeling that can be expressed in the words: “I did it!” appeared to me when the entire period of my mother’s dying was left behind, the funeral service was left behind and, a few days later, they gave me an urn with ashes. I managed! Later talking with different people who lived a similar path, I heard the same thing from them. Sometimes in other words. And, sometimes people, without saying a word, found the same two words: “I did it!” People talked about themselves, or about what they heard from their older relatives. There turned out to be so much commonality in this. Seeing parents off is one of the most important tasks in life. But no one tells us about this. Neither in childhood nor in adolescence. Those who have already lived this process from beginning to end agree. The same important life task as creating a couple, giving birth and raising children, choosing a life’s work. While talking with people, I also heard notes of bitterness about the fact that I did/did not cope in the best way. “C”, “C-minus”. Only this is a situation where the main thing is that you have coped in principle. People have shared similar states in the process - you can’t cope with your fears. They don’t talk about this life task. A child or teenager learns something about this in the process of living in his family. Most often, using the example of their parents, who see off their parents. Some people are born when their grandparents are already dead. Someone (usually in families where generations live separately) is fenced off from this process. They don’t really show you, they don’t shift the burden of care. Where three generations live in the same area, children and adolescents see the most and are the most included. Then they know more about this process, because they observed, lived, and participated. Now, just watching a seriously ill person die and caring for him is a premature experience for a child’s psyche. This is my search for an answer to the question: how to prepare children and adolescents for this life task. Without immersing yourself in this experience while it is still beyond your strength. And without fencing it off so much that later there is nothing to rely on when it’s time to see your parents off. Talking about this experience. Telling. Showing feelings while maintaining your full responsibility to bear them. And giving direction on where to get resources to survive. The urn with my mother’s ashes stayed at home for another year and four months. I was preparing internally. When I felt that the moment had come, that I had enough strength within me, I buried her ashes. In August, on a warm, clear, sunny day. And on that day there was no longer any fear. On this day, I no longer needed anyone’s support or presence. This part was doable. And I could be alone in this. Moreover, perhaps I wanted to be alone in this. Mom has her little place on earth. There is her cross. And, no matter what feelings still have to be lived, lived... Different, contradictory... At the same time, there is an understanding that everything is in order. I did it! Colleague psychologists, student psychologists! I invite you to the program "Systemic Family Therapy and consulting" 2024-2026. Anniversary 10th set. Start on September 21-22. Retraining diploma. In person. Ekaterinburg.