No matter how you look at it, in psychotherapy the psychotherapist asks the client all sorts of different questions. And as a result, a seemingly simple question: “Are you sure of your statement?” often changes the client's picture of the world. And he suddenly realizes: “Oh, that’s right, something is wrong here,” and changes his idea of ​​something important. And sometimes, on the contrary, you ask the client: “Are you sure about this?”, and he understands that, yes, damn it, this is extremely important for him. Sometimes the relatives and close people of these clients extremely dislike psychotherapists for such allegedly unsettling questions. . They impose their negative projections on them (the dark, rejected sides of their personality), saying that this disgusting person is a psychotherapist, there is nothing sacred in him, he leads clients astray from this path outlined by these relatives. Teaches you to rely on your own feelings, and not on the feelings of influential relatives. It helps to get out of strict control and subordination, God forbid, the Karpman triangle (aggressor/rescuer/victim) will also help you get out of codependency, stop supporting it, a nightmare, apparently, they think. In some ways they are right, when the client begins to recognize his feelings and take them into account, he often begins to behave differently with the people around him. Perestroika is never easy, remember the 90s. But in some ways they are wrong: if relationships are important to people, then perestroika will only make them closer, stronger and brighter. And if they are not important, then it will reveal everything that has been repressed, and they, unfortunately, will not advance to a deeper level of intimacy, but they would not have advanced anyway. It’s a pity... When the client begins to recognize his feelings, he discovers not only love, joy and tenderness, but also feelings such as: - disgust - a feeling that says that there is too much of something in the relationship or that for some reason it is toxic for client. - disappointment - a feeling that returns a person to reality, without fascination and idealization. - anger - a feeling that often covers something very vulnerable, vulnerable, painful. - powerlessness - a feeling that is important to dwell on. - boredom - a feeling that often overlapping anger and irritation. - confusion - a feeling that allows you to not navigate here and now. These complex feelings do not interfere, but help build relationships, regulate distance, move away and come closer. Create togetherness…