The article was written from a woman’s point of view, but is also suitable for men. You may not realize or notice at all that you are stuck in some kind of situations. And if your cherished goal is not achieved, then this goal is not true. In other words, your subconscious has another, unconscious or shadow goal. In this article I will tell and show you how to realize how stuck you are, subtly identify your true goal and decide for yourself whether you need to get out of the quagmire. Maybe, by the way, it’s not necessary. There is a story: one person saves another from a huge deep puddle. He saves at the risk of his own life. And so they both lie at the edge of this puddle, breathing heavily: they are tired. Finally the rescued one asks: “What are you doing?” - Like what? I saved you! - Fool! I live there!... I live there... Andrei Tarkovsky Nostalgia. 1983 The technique will require time and effort from you to understand what is happening. It is suitable for those who move from the level of “it’s already good” to “I deserve better.” I don’t attract those who read “purely for entertainment” with my article, because comprehending this article may accidentally furrow the smooth arable land of the brain with unplanned convolutions, but is it really necessary?.. So. We don’t get stuck in random places, people, problems, but on the way to the desired goal. For example. You think you want to lose weight. Switch from diet to diet, you get a temporary effect, not a result. So you get stuck in losing weight for a long time, becoming a professional loser. In fact, your goal/the goal of your subconscious is to learn to pay real attention to yourself: take care of yourself. And this is only possible with a radical change in the nutrition system, and a determination to change nutrition throughout life, as they say. Instead of the topic: I’ll lose weight now, and then we’ll eat. This also includes the topic of working through the secondary benefits of excess weight and understanding what excess weight protects against. Which is also part of the true goal: learning to pay real attention to yourself: taking care of yourself. Or: you constantly quarrel in a relationship. It seems to you that your goal is to find the truth in these quarrels and explain to your partner. Get him to treat you the way you want. But something is not going well. Does not work. In fact, your subconscious's goal may be to finally break up with this partner altogether, and realize that arguments are necessary to access your feelings: i.e. in order to feel at least this way, to be reflected in the emotions of another person. Thus, we get stuck, and do not move, because we choose low-quality means to achieve the goal: pop diets and short-term and quick effects, instead of a comprehensive healthy lifestyle. Quarrels and disputes instead of realizing our condition. Trying to change another person instead of paying attention to yourself; it is impossible to change another person Reading blogs and sitting on psychological sites instead of working through your real problems and questions + unconscious secondary benefits, do not really work through anything, because any changes in any direction, including towards happiness, cause stress. What is important: Getting stuck is always some kind of psychological defense. You need to get out through the airbag, create it. Together with a psychologist, the author of this article or another real professional. Going out on your own is not only not worth it, but also dangerous. The true goal is not to jump out of a jam, but to understand and realize what the meaning of being stuck is and what the true goal is. Getting out of a jam cannot be an end in itself, except in cases where there is a direct threat to health and life, only then is it worth first getting out, then realizing. “Skillfully - it takes a long time!” or Your super life in the style of delayed gratification Consultation and contacts here Psi IVF: I dream about a child, but nothing comes of it! To sign up, write to PM. Sign up in advance, I work individually and locally, no more than 3 people per month. Art club: MAC + drawing here Psi-Quest here