The opinion of oneself consists of two components: The Real Self The Ideal Self The Real Self is the structure of how we see ourselves in real life. What we have been given and what we have achieved. The ideal self is a structure about what we would like to be: appearance, qualities and character traits, behavior, earnings, etc. The Ideal Self Structure is the guide or guiding star for our decisions and actions. Striving for the ideal is useful as long as everything is within the bounds of reason and does not turn into an obsessive necessity. The Real Self and the Ideal Self are dissimilar. The more a person believes that he must become ideal, the stronger the gap between the two structures becomes. The more demands he makes on himself and the tougher they become. The ideal self can become so detached from the real self that it becomes an internal terrorist who develops a real dictatorship in the head. The main rule: conform or suffer. The requirement to live up to your own ideal deprives the Ideal Self of the opportunity to be a guiding star. From now on, it is an autocratic structure. There will be no end to dissatisfaction: there is always little and always not enough. The higher the bar, the more demands are heard from this bottomless pit. The domestic terrorist does not care whether the demands are feasible; how much has been achieved. Depression, dissatisfaction and self-doubt appear when the injections of the internal dictator are not questioned, but are taken at face value. The Ideal Self is capable of silencing its owner to such an extent that one’s own worthlessness seems self-evident. In this case, you will have to learn to stand up for yourself and subject yourself to criticism that seemed ordinary. It is easy to succumb to the belief that high demands on yourself bring you closer to the ideal. Only higher does not mean better, but tougher does not mean more effective. Going above your head is of no use. This approach brings us not closer to the Ideal Self, but to an endless fall into the abyss of discontent and uncertainty, depression and anger. After all, the task of the Ideal Self is to remain an elusive structure. Therefore, attempts to jump above your head end with a fracture of this very head. Such a view of the Ideal Self can be accused of justifying laziness. Only here psychotherapeutic practice and the laws of the psyche repeat loudly: it is more productive to allow yourself to be an imperfect lazy person than to demand from yourself with sweat on your forehead that you turn the Real Self into the Ideal Self. How to weaken the internal terrorist: Do not negotiate. Remember that the head belongs to you, which means the last word is yours. Only you decide when the inner dictator can open his mouth. Lower the bar of the Ideal Self. Ten times. If this point caused indignation - then it won’t take long to become lazy - it means that the Ideal Self has already turned into a despotic structure that will not allow you to breathe freely. Interesting work with the Ideal Me and the Real Me? You can contact me on WhatsApp +79021503833 Quick link to write to me on Whatsapp: https://wa.me/79021503833