Inhumanity. I rub my eyes more and more intensely, this black light, it digs into me, penetrates, hurts, burdens me with its continuous ringing of the invisible gold of oncoming headlights, they rushed past, and the oncoming gaze remained blazing, yellow, brown, black . Closing my eyes, I look inside myself, with rubbing fingers I tightly cover the entrance so that no image leaves me without its representation. I press my eyes harder and harder, more and more I feel the roundness of my eyeballs, like rolling an egg on a plate, there is no crunch, there is a barely perceptible elasticity of my willpower, and pain, and light, and gold that does not shine, but burns in my head , in the opposite direction, in the opposite direction. With my fingers I press my eyes inside, as if I were pressing a button that starts a movie, bright images are waiting for me on the other side of the box, the pressure is growing, I look inside and see only myself. Diverse and extraordinary, my view of myself fetters my imagination, I don’t let myself the opportunity to come up with this short story for myself, only pure vision, only simple perception, only me. Who am I, who will I appear to myself, look inside myself, what will I see there when I press my fingers against the entrance? Car headlights, shadows, shadows, so many of them, everything is so fuzzy, and this unforgettable feeling of terrible detachment, as if I am afraid of my inner essence, which is as inhuman as I am human on the outside. A viscous mass of experiences, locked in the skull, making its way down in portions, reactions, tics, itching, cramps, spasms and pain, so burning, to the point of nausea, pulsating and so slowly growing, as if putting a remote control in your hands, and I myself, clicking I gradually increase the level of pain according to it. Fear, disgust, anger, envy, despair, and all this impossibly passionate languishes in a robe of complete indifference to one’s own feelings, to oneself, the inner walls are painted black, it absorbs it all, dissolves it in its oily base, makes them motionless and everything freezes, hardens, becomes sticky and dirty, dries out, peels, falls off and turns into dust. Bright electric arcs in my vision, I see these flashes, they are so real, these lightnings in my inner world, there are torrential rains of sweat and tears, the thunder of anger roars, the storm rages, and I'm in no hurry, I'm okay with this, I don't feel the force of the wind, this spirit doesn't blow through my soul, I'm completely streamlined for this metaphorical old man, my soul is made of a black alloy brought from far away space, for billions of years this black obelisk has been frozen in space, and now it stands under lightning strikes in oncoming traffic, horns honking, brakes screeching, headlights gold, no, no, this is not the same. I look deeper at what is behind all this, that this odyssey can reveal to me what I am looking for there, cold fingers press harder on the pliable apples of my eyes, more, more intensely, rub in the meanings, drive them straight into the brain, gold of light, blackness of walls, grinding brakes teeth, and pain, pain, nausea, everything comes from the depths of me, everything fills me slowly, so sadistically, my finger clicks on the remote control, increasing the intensity of the pain. What is this awakening in me? A huge density of packed feelings, merged into one insensibility. There are so many of them, they are so different, but I am alone. So trivial, so strange, I keep the entrance closed, put pressure on the visible elements of perception, and all this hurts and aches, and at the same time I am in the middle of the bare space of my impenetrable uncontrollable emptiness. Why go through such pain if there is nothing inside it? So funny, so sad. So inhumane. To be human in your secretions, filling them with meaningless emptiness, while remaining yourself, definitely-geolocationally, relatively and absolutely, under pressure unconditionally and still indifferent to yourself. I can scream inside myself as much as I can. whatever, no one will ever hear me. There are no people there. There's a zone of inhumanity.