Families go through different periods in their development, including crises and difficulties. However, some couples and unions break up due to various reasons. Divorce is a serious and difficult event in the life of each family member. In essence, this is a small death, the death of relationships, expectations, perhaps love. And psychologically, the experiences of divorce are similar to the experiences of loss. Regardless of the reasons for separation, as a rule, all parties suffer. After all, not only the unit of society disintegrates, but also everything that was connected with it. In my opinion, in many cases, divorce is a tragedy, and children suffer the most. Due to their age and emotional characteristics, they cannot comprehend everything that is happening and cannot cope with these experiences on their own, which is why children need special help. And in the article I would like to highlight three most important rules that need to be followed if there is a divorce in the family. The very first rule is openness. Some adults believe that because of their age, children do not understand what is happening, that they do not need to say anything because they are still too young. And this is a misconception, since children from a very early age begin to feel, if not understand, when something is wrong in the family. Child psychology is such that if a child is not told what is wrong, why his mother is crying, why his parents are fighting, he takes everything personally, begins to believe that it is all because of him, that he is behaving badly, so the parents get upset. And from here various problems can arise, including various diseases caused by suppressed experiences. What to do in this case? The child has the right to know that there are problems in the family. In the event of a divorce, it is necessary to convey to the children the essence of what is happening at their level of understanding. Starting from a fairly early age, the child is able to understand that mom and dad are quarreling, that bad situations have arisen, as a result of which they cease to be husband and wife. This is a very important point; it is necessary to clearly distinguish that only the husband and wife get divorced, the mother and father remain with the child. To make it easier for your child to understand, you can come up with a fairy-tale plot reminiscent of a family situation, using the example of animals and fairy-tale characters. If it is difficult to carry out such work yourself, you should contact a qualified psychologist who will help. The second rule is a ban on manipulating the child. This rule is one of the most difficult, because in a situation of divorce, the child is often the subject of disputes and manipulation. Although, it’s personally difficult for me to understand how you can use children for your own purposes, because their psyche is so fragile, it’s so traumatized when parents literally tear apart a little innocent child! If the relationship between the spouses is relatively normal, it is necessary to agree not to involve the children in the divorce situation, this is extremely important! A child loves both parents equally, he cannot say who is worse, who is better; for the child’s psyche it is absolutely incomprehensible, even wild, that one of the most beloved people can be bad. If both parents are adequate, this issue must be clearly discussed. Let's consider the second option, when, due to circumstances, one of the spouses begins to overpower the child and undermine his psyche. Sometimes grandparents get involved in this, turning children against one or the other parent. Here it is also necessary to explain to the child what is going on. For example, “Dad and I quarreled as husband and wife. Dad gets very angry because of this, so sometimes he can say bad words. Both he and I love you very much, but now because of the quarrel we are in a bad mood, it’s only because of our quarrels, not because of you. You are the most wonderful child." Such words need to be spoken to the child as often as possible so that he has an explanation for all the terrible events that happen to him. Rule three is to work with the emotional state of the spouses. Children read the emotions of their parents, so it is also necessary to monitor their own emotions.!