I received a question: “How to motivate a man to courtship, if for example he is in the subpersonality of the Old Man, Male, Master, or Boy? After all, these subpersonalities are not capable of courtship. The old man grumbles/grumbles/criticizes. To the male The boy needs sex/food/sleep. The owner needs material goods/work. And only in the state of a Knight/Prince a man is able to court, give flowers and gifts. How to turn on and off the desired subpersonality in himself and his partner? "The answer is simple. ONLY those who have worked and are working on themselves will be able to put on and take off (that is, switch) subpersonalities at their own will. And those who DO NOT work on themselves will not be able to do this. Such a person will remain within the usual framework and patterns. Fully automatically demonstrating the “STIMULUM-RESPONSE” principle. And such an automatic person cannot be changed from the outside... Alas. Let us remember the wonderful saying of Mikhail Labkovsky: “LEAVE OTHER PEOPLE ALONE! YOU CAN’T CHANGE ANYONE. A PERSON CAN ONLY CHANGE HIMSELF. AND ONLY IF YOU WILL WANT THIS. TSK “I completely agree with these words. The illusion that someone can be remade by an adult must be abandoned. In this case, it is unrealistic to remake a child. And even more so for an adult. Managing YOUR own subpersonalities is done something like this: 1) First, we track and write out all the subpersonalities that ALREADY EXIST and are dressed or turned on automatically. Let’s take, for example, the “old man” and the “male” and the “master”. 2) We begin to clarify about each subpersonality separately: a) When and under what circumstances does this subpersonality come and turn on? b) What does this subpersonality want to achieve? c) What does this subpersonality actually achieve? d) What is it trying to prevent or stop? e) What does it actually prevent and stop? f) How else does this subpersonality manifest itself? f) How does this subpersonality turn off and where does it go? g) What other subpersonalities does it promote? h) What other subpersonalities does it oppose? or a bright case when she appeared? and 1) Do we remember another bright case when she appeared? and 2) Do we remember another bright case when she appeared? ... until the bright cases end) Who used to have or now has the same subpersonality? (remember everyone)j) What kind of subpersonality was I in when someone else showed this subpersonality? etc., etc. (you can come up with and compose other questions one way or another that clarify something about this subpersonality.3) After all this has been researched and written down - We are trying to understand how much this subpersonality really helps or does not help where it is used. We evaluate its relevance and adequacy. Applicability, Usefulness, etc.4) If there are real PAINFUL episodes associated with a given subpersonality (from point and / and1 / and2...) Then we work through these episodes by processing until the painful reactions are completely erased.5) As a result, the subpersonality turns from automatic into understandable , conscious and easily manageable. Now we take the DESIRED subpersonality of the “Knight” and run it through the same points “from 1 to 5” and from the letter “a to k”... We process through PROCESSING all the internal protests that arise when they appear in the personal space of this desired subpersonality. We work through all the discomforts directed against this desired subpersonality. And as a result, we learn to put it on at will, where it is appropriate. It’s clear - all this is done by someone who wants to understand their subpersonalities. Ideally, this should be done with a psychologist. (For example, with me). Or, as an option, on your own. And only in this way can something change in a person! What conclusion can be drawn from all of the above for women and girls? There is no need to remake anyone!! Look for: 1) Or a ready-made person with the necessary automatic unconscious set of subpersonalities that suits you. 2) Or someone who has not yet been developed, but already REALLY moving in this direction and taking REAL steps towards learning about yourself, not just about