From the author: “Meeting with yourself, meeting with another” is my big author’s project, a kind of psychological educational program, within the framework of which there will be articles, seminars, and trainings... And the result might even turn out to be a book. In the meantime, with this article I begin a conversation about psychological immaturity and its consequences in people's lives. As new articles appear, I will post them here. In the meantime, here are some of my introductory thoughts. PS The project “Meeting yourself, meeting another” is originally Christian, so please do not be surprised by the mentions of God, as well as quotes from Christian books. Mature individuals attract mature individuals, immature individuals attract immature All people experience pain. When they part with those who are dear to them, experience disappointments, losses, encounter obstacles on the way to their goals and do not get what they want. Usually such pain is useful: it forces a person to mobilize his strength to find a way out of an unpleasant situation; achieve your goals; restore a relationship with someone, etc. As a result, it makes a person stronger, and he grows up. There is, however, another pain: the pain of our immaturity. People experience it when, having matured physically and, perhaps, developed well intellectually, a person lags behind in emotional development. And then he, in fact an adult, looks at the world through the eyes of an eternally rebellious teenager. Or in general - he remains an emotional baby who is sure that the whole world was created and exists exclusively for him, and does not notice anything around him except his own needs and desires. In such cases, mental and emotional immaturity comes into conflict with other areas of a person’s inner world, those that have developed better, and he plunges into the abyss of misunderstanding and self-rejection, internal strife and contradictions. He does not understand himself and does not control himself. “I’m ashamed of myself”, “I don’t understand my desires”, “I’m afraid to express my feelings”, “I constantly feel guilty”, “I suffer from outbursts of anger” - these are common complaints of an immature person about his inner state. A psychologically immature person comes into contact with others world, society. He finishes his studies - which is often uninteresting to him, since his parents may have “put him into it”; goes to work - and there begin “constant conflicts with the boss”, he is “dissatisfied with the job”, “emotionally burns out from it”, “he despises himself for doing something he doesn’t like and is uninteresting for a penny salary”, but he can’t change anything, because “ there is no will”, he “cannot manage his life”, he does not know “what he wants from life”, he has “no goal”, “there is no point in living”, he is “too lazy”, he feels helpless and the situation is hopeless .Surrounding himself with friends and acquaintances, an immature personality is faced with a “lack of understanding of others”, with the fact that he/she is “constantly abandoned”, lack of “common interests” and poverty of communication. At the same time, immature personalities always attract immature ones (as well as mature - mature). This is an axiom of communication between people. And so two immature, weak, dependent people who do not know how to build relationships fall in love, get married, have children - and as a result - “constant quarrels with their husband (wife)”; “my husband (wife) doesn’t understand me”; “children are annoying”... This also includes a wave of betrayal, promiscuity, disrespect for a partner, a basic inability to listen, to understand the position of another, an inability to put up with the slightest inconvenience, an indispensable desire to “insist on one’s own”, “not to give up positions”, “to win” , “to argue”... Here there are divorces, which means single-parent families, children who grew up without a father and with an emotionally traumatized, hysterical or, on the contrary, cold and rejecting mother. Such children grow up with problems in the area of ​​masculinity (femininity). Having no father means that the boy has no one to follow as an example, no one to imitate in how to “be a man,” no one to learn from. Boys imitate the female style of behavior, female reactions, adopted from their mother, grandmother, and school teacher, and grow up weak, hysterical, weak-willed, giving in to.