Flipping through glossy magazines about pregnancy and childbirth, with photographs of happy women “expecting”, one would assume that there could be no other emotions other than happiness and joy during this period. But reality dictates that pregnancy is a whole range of feelings and emotions. It is like music, which can be major and minor, resonant and dissonant, disturbing or calming, background and expressive. If you listen to yourself, you can catch the sound of the melody inside you, which will correspond to your mood, attitude to what is happening and the general mood in during pregnancy. Let's talk about emotions, feelings and conditions during pregnancy, as well as what we can learn if we listen to them. 1. Expectation in harmony. Of course, it is good when pregnancy proceeds mainly in a state of harmony. You “responsibly, but without unnecessary anxiety, treat your pregnancy, respond adequately to emerging difficulties, and deal with them constructively.” Pregnancy brings you joy, it is desirable for you, you accept the changes taking place in your body and your life in general. People around you may notice that your eyes “glow.” You continue to lead an active lifestyle, easily and naturally adapting to the course of your pregnancy, introducing the necessary restrictions. You feel a close emotional connection with your child, react with tenderness to his movements, and try to communicate with him. This nature of the perception of pregnancy contributes to the formation of a healthy environment for intrauterine development, “a favorable course of the postpartum period and a harmonious type of family upbringing of the child.”2. "Background" waiting. It also happens that pregnancy causes neutral feelings. You may say or think: “I don’t feel any special emotions associated with my pregnancy”; “I try not to think about pregnancy or the upcoming birth at all”; “I don’t think about upcoming motherhood.” Excessive attention and questions from others about pregnancy can be annoying, and the baby’s movements can cause a feeling of discomfort. You are in no hurry to change your lifestyle due to pregnancy, even if necessary. If, with the birth of a child, the perception of one’s new role does not change, then this may affect the parenting style: the child may be left to his own devices and experience a lack of maternal attention, love and care. This, in turn, negatively affects the dynamics of his mental and physical development, because Such children spend all their energy trying to compensate for the feeling of discomfort, anxiety and fear of being abandoned by their mother. At the same time, basic trust in the world, and therefore in oneself, is not formed. Such children suffer from low self-esteem or become very aggressive. The quality of the relationship with the mother is also impaired. The child becomes less receptive to the requests of his parents. There are many nuances. And the point is not at all that you are a potentially bad mother. There is probably just some reason that blocks maternal feelings and instincts inside you, something prevents you from accepting your pregnancy and finding balance. What could it be? Lifestyle and your value system that you value (the opportunity to travel, career growth , freedom, communication, money, etc.) are not compatible, in your perception, with motherhood; Fears associated with the need to give up your goals and “dissolve” in the child, lose certain opportunities; Making a decision about pregnancy not “at the call of the heart,” but under the influence of social norms and expectations: “every woman should give birth,” “well, when will you give us a grandchild?”, “you are already 25, but there are no children yet...”; Surprise pregnancy itself, which may have disrupted your plans; Difficult relationship with the child’s father and other temporary life difficulties. If so, then you still have a long 9 months ahead to put everything in place and prepare for some changes in your life.What can be done: 1) Realize and find for yourself the personal “advantages” of motherhood. What opportunities will the birth of a child open for you? How can it decorate and transform your life? What qualities can you reveal in yourself after becoming a mother? 2) Find a balance between your child and career, your personal goals and plans for life. Life does not end with motherhood, but, on the contrary, continues. And the birth of a child is not a reason to give up on your personal life. By showing creativity and ingenuity, you can always find alternative options for self-realization in all significant areas of life. 3) Put things in order in your life: give up what has brought you harm. 3. Euphoric anticipation. Pregnancy can, on the contrary, put you in a state of euphoria. Still would! You have always dreamed of becoming a mother! You may feel that only pregnancy makes you feel truly happy. And you have never experienced such vivid emotions as during pregnancy. At the same time, you may feel the need for special treatment from loved ones and people around you. Lack of proper attention can be very frustrating. Such pretentiousness often creates tension in relationships with your loved ones. On the one hand, everything seems to be in a “rosy light”; you can ignore the recommendations of doctors. On the other hand, pregnancy may tempt you to make drastic changes to your lifestyle, even if there is no obvious need for it. “Unlike a normal good mood...euphoria makes pregnant women insensitive to objective reality.” Therefore, the difficulties associated with childbirth, the postpartum period, and caring for a baby can be unexpected and frightening for a woman. They may be exaggerated. And since motherhood is never without anxiety, and childbirth is a responsible process, it will be useful to spend the waiting time usefully and prepare well: 1) Attend a course in preparation for childbirth. In the Regional Perinatal Center, for example, a School for Expectant Mothers has been opened. Everyone can learn everything they need about childbirth, breastfeeding and caring for a newborn, completely free of charge. 2) Read the literature on preparing for childbirth and child care on your own. I can recommend books that I myself once read and they turned out to be very informative and useful for me: “The Art of Breastfeeding” - book No. 1 in the world about breastfeeding with recommendations for child care; Childbirth without fear. Grantley Dick-Read. About how to get ready for childbirth, about methods of self-help during childbirth. “Games and exercises for the little ones.” Tatiana Strobykina. About how to play with a child and how to develop him, with recommendations and specific exercises for each month. 3) Lead a healthy lifestyle: for example, swim in the pool with an instructor, go to yoga for pregnant women, etc.4. Anxious anticipation. Of course, during pregnancy, it is natural and normal if you experience a little anxiety and even fear. “Thanks to these emotions, women become more responsible, careful, and more careful about their health. Thus, anxiety and fears contribute to a woman’s adaptation to her new state. Signs of normal anxiety and fear are their adequacy, logic, and reduction when the situation is resolved.” It’s another matter if the strength of your anxiety does not correspond to objective reality, is exaggerated, not supported by facts, and is obsessive in nature. If you “are in the grip of bad premonitions and in constant nervous tension, this, in turn, worsens your well-being,” then you are characterized by an anxious style of experiencing pregnancy. Some of your personal characteristics can contribute to an increase in the level of anxiety: low self-esteem, hyperresponsibility, suspiciousness, vulnerability, emotional lability, etc. What you can do for yourself: 1. Train positive thinking. Replace any negative thought with one that will calm and support you. You can find a lot on the Internet.