From the author: Reflections on how illusions are created and how it ruins our lives. Original article on the website: It seems to me that everyone in this world lies. Everyone, not just politicians: businessmen, coaches, prominent figures, show business stars. And this lie creates a lot of problems for ordinary people. In their stories, they usually say how cool and successful, effective, skillful they are, they do everything on time and without mistakes, their every move is thought out, calculated and predicted, they have happiness everywhere and always, in work, personal life, health. All this gives them a kind of divinity and chosenness that is impossible for an ordinary person to achieve. But what do we really know about the lives of these people? Only what they tell us. And they only say what is profitable for them to say. They create a picture that you want to run after. Of course, we will give them our money and do as they say, because THEY say so. On the one hand, they motivate to move, but on the other hand, the image they create turns out to be simply unrealistic for ordinary people. Therefore, many are blown away before they get results. Few people warn about the difficulties, problems and difficulties that await people along the way. They usually say - guaranteed to lose weight in 3 days, do like me, and without doing anything, you will get millions. People are fooled , people go, and then they stumble upon the fact that there is laziness, problems, fears, and they are not ready for this. They were told that everything would be very easy. This is how deceptions flourish. Those who pretended to be successful in time begin to lead those who want to be successful. And some of them, understanding how everything works, also begin to pretend to be successful, copying the manner of their teacher. Because no one will follow a person who will tell the whole truth about himself. No one will buy a course if its description indicates difficulties on the path of its passage, if it is called “Work 16 hours a day, make mistakes, lose a lot of money, and maybe you will come to success.” Everyone will buy - “How to earn millions while sitting at home in shorts, working 2 hours a day.” Everyone will buy, but in the end, few will achieve anything. After all, in essence, you still have to work 16 hours a day, overcome fears, make mistakes, etc. But they didn’t warn about this. Why does this happen? Because “No matter what life teaches us, the heart believes in miracles.” Due to our perfectionism, desire to be perfect (and also natural laziness and irresponsibility), we believe that that in this world there are perfect people and quick results without labor. So we run from one image to another, from one illusion to another. Then we get disappointed and look for the next one. Because if we suddenly see that the idol is imperfect or makes a mistake somewhere, then we ourselves will lose meaning for ourselves. Is it really impossible to achieve perfection? You can’t! You can’t live without problems and difficulties, be always in high spirits, very efficient, quickly deal with all tasks, be globally correct, without flaws, etc. The idea of ​​perfection is a utopian, narcissistic, unattainable idea. But since almost all of us are infected with this “be perfect” virus instilled in us in childhood, we keep running and trying to realize it. It’s almost like searching for the ideal partner. Mission impossible. And by continuing the race for success and perfection, we continue to oppress ourselves and the life we ​​live. I am one of those who always strived for perfection, and in the same way I rushed from one teacher to another. Gradually becoming disillusioned with each of them. (Quick charm, followed by quick disappointment, is a typical sign of narcissism. Alas and ah.) It always seemed to me that these teachers had some kind of key that would open all the doors and help you enter the world of the ideal person. It is clear that This is my personal opinion, but for me this key is pretense and lies. Nobody knows how these people really live. They simply show that façade that is so nice to look at and behind which you want to live. And Iremained imperfect. And this all upsets me very much. This is probably why I am so happy, or even gleeful, to read articles from the series “confessions of a successful person.” Such memoirs are usually written at the end of a career, or after a large amount of time, when those people who helped them rise are no longer around. That’s where they write about how bad and difficult everything was. And how many mistakes they made, and how many things didn’t work out, and there was no money, but there was laziness, and in general they all went through crises, problems and declines. At least it’s honest. And then I begin to understand that it’s okay to make mistakes, or rather, it’s not okay not to make them. That everyone has laziness and sabotage, even the most experienced time management gurus. And this gives me hope that I also have a chance to achieve what I want. But who needs this honesty at the initial stage of building a business? There were problems and difficulties, but would they have listened to them if they told the truth right away? Of course not. No one would pay money to someone who only had three kopecks. Therefore, they present us with a picture - we already have a million, so your 100 rubles won’t do much, they’re not really needed. And we understand this, we give them their due. Difficulties in relationships are only talked about when a celebrity couple has separated. And while they are together, they will create an image for the public. We listen to people’s advice, put them on a pedestal, look up to them, make them our idols, and then it turns out that they all have a lot of skeletons in their closet, that they are not ideal, but with a lot of cockroaches and problems. But by the time they become icons, no one cares anymore. The principle “What is allowed to Jupiter is not allowed to a bull” comes into play. Everyone will forgive the fact that Steve Jobs was arrogant, but few will accept this in an ordinary startuper who is just beginning his journey to Olympus. And in order to avoid this, he also begins to play his role. We all strive to live in a fantasy where everything is good, beautiful and successful. But in reality, few people have this. We see someone else's lawn and envy it, because the grass is always greener there. But who knows what really lies behind that lawn? Is everything really so cloudless over that area? Usually these are all just pictures. And it’s not just about businessmen and stars. At some point, creating images of our lives becomes part of each of us. Today, when social networks have compressed the world to a couple of clicks, we are always aware of what our neighbor is doing. We see all his wonderful and cheerful photos on Instagram, check-ins in Foursquare, videos on YouTube and we conclude that he has not a life, but a fairy tale. This one went to an expensive resort, and this one rocks the club, and those were at festival, and these...And all this creates an even bigger hole in our heads, an even bigger gap between what we have and what we want to achieve. We devalue our achievements and exalt the lives of others. This is why there are so many depressions and complexes. Sometimes I look at a person’s life, and it seems fabulous to me, and then you talk and understand that there is a heap of problems there, which is very difficult to untangle. So don’t judge and don’t believe, don’t envy, because you you don't know what the truth really is. Do what you like and don’t pay attention to what others do. For myself, I concluded that: Perfection is a myth. No one has achieved it and will never achieve it. Everyone lies to create an impression. But once you get inside, you realize how bad everything is. You can relax and live the way you want. And if you want to live well, then you can always start pretending. There is such a wonderful principle “Fake it until you make it” - Fake it until you make it. Will it help you achieve success - yes. Will it make you happier - I don’t know. what if you decide to pretend to be happy. And you don’t have to believe me either. I also say what I think is necessary. For no one will listen to someone who tells the truth about how complicated and imperfect everything is. But everything is complicated, imperfect and there are no quick results.