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Psychologist Marsha Linehan has identified three types of families that are associated with the occurrence of borderline personality disorder in a child. The first type is the Chaotic Family. In such families, parents suffer from mental illness and/or substance abuse. These are financially disadvantaged families, where the child’s needs are ignored, his problems are not taken into account, little attention is paid to him, and parents are often absent. Anna grew up in a dysfunctional family. The father, who uses illegal substances, quickly left the family. An alcohol-dependent mother often organized “meetings of like-minded people” at home, completely forgetting about her daughter. The girl grew up on her own, contacts with her mother were limited to reproaches and beatings. Despite the fact that Anna was later able to obtain a higher education, her career never took off. Being a certified specialist, she washed entrances, was in an unsuccessful marriage with a person suffering from alcoholism, and could not build a healthy relationship with her children. Anna did not use illegal substances, but she felt intense hatred towards her children, especially her daughter. “I see myself in her,” the woman honestly admitted. She did not know how to separate her daughter, who looked similar to her, from her real self, acting out the model of behavior that her parents formed in her. The second type is the Perfectionist family. Negative emotions are unacceptable in such families. Parents suppress them and punish the child for their manifestation, which entails a violation of identity. Elena’s mother was a fairly strict woman, for whom “what other people think” was always important. She demanded from her daughter perfect obedience, decent behavior and impeccable appearance. At the age of 12, noticing her daughter was overweight, the woman purchased fat-burning products for her, forcing her to use them without fail. One day, the girl hid a bad school grade from her mother. Having learned about the deception, the mother did not speak to her daughter for several months, completely ignoring her presence, without explaining anything. If my mother was irritated, she also remained silent, and preferred to punish (physically) with the hands of her husband. At 40, Elena still could not decide what she wanted to do in life. Having learned about her husband’s betrayal, she clearly decided not to enter into any further contact with him, but at the same time she did not understand that she could divorce him and lived in the same territory for many years. The third type is a typical family. The emphasis in such families is on cognitive (rational) control over emotions. If a child has difficulty regulating emotions or feelings, this is ignored by parents. The only criterion for success is the child’s achievements and his mastery in something. Sergei’s parents are successful people who have achieved everything in life on their own. They made the same demands on their children. The guy’s older brother reached professional heights in sports, but Sergei couldn’t keep up with his brother and was quite mediocre both in sports and in studies. “You’re a disgrace to your father!” - he often heard addressed to him both from his parents and from his teachers. When the boy showed the first signs of depression, this was ignored by his parents, even despite the pediatrician’s demands to show the child to a psychologist. The parents believed that the cause of any mood swings in the child was total idleness and laziness. At the age of 16, cuts began to appear on the boy’s body. Knowing this, parents continued to turn a blind eye to it, considering self-harm to be teenage stupidity. At the age of 19, Sergei met a rather domineering girl who demanded unconditional success from him. After breaking up with her, he started using drugs.

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