In this article we are talking about the initiations that a man and a woman go through in their life journey. Of course, it cannot be that one person undergoes initiation for another. And yet, there are testing stages that we go through together, hand in hand. Among them is, of course, a wedding. A wedding is one of the most important transitions that a person makes in his life, be it a man or a woman. This is the line that separates two lives: unmarried, bachelor, and married life. And at the same time, it is a kind of bridge from one life to another. But is it so easy to move on? Of course, you and I remember that initiation is an ancient rite of transferring a person from one status to another, in particular from the status of a child, teenager, to the status of an adult. And this ritual has been very cruel since ancient times (well, or cruel, whichever you prefer, both meanings are appropriate). During the initiation process, the teenager overcame deadly obstacles, and, having passed this path, received an “adult” name and the right to be called a full member of the community. Real, true adulthood. Of course, in the case of a wedding, we are not talking about whether the boy or girl will die or not, but another, no less important question is being resolved - will his or her life be ruined or not? Why is this so, the reader will ask. Isn't this an exaggeration? No. And here's why: When a man and woman get married, they don't just join their destinies. At this moment, an even larger scale event occurs - the merging of clans. Subsequently, they will have children, the fruit of this merger, memory bearers of both families. And this is not just some kind of spiritual event - it has a very specific, objective psychological component. Let’s dwell on it in more detail. One of the distinctive features of initiation – any one – is that a person undergoes his “milestone” test in the deepest trance. Let us recall that we call trance a special state when the unconscious works and manifests itself more intensely than in ordinary life. This is “not quite awake.” The unconscious at such a moment is a) open, b) active. And it is clear why this happens at the moment of initiation: after all, this is a severe test, the threat of death hangs over the person. And therefore, the unconscious is mobilized together with the conscious to help us survive. And now imagine a wedding, or remember one of those you have been to. This means that the young people are sitting at the head of the table, in the center of the hall, surrounded by a crowd of relatives and friends, literally “sealed” to the place by dozens, or even hundreds of glances. And first of all, these are the views of referent, significant persons: parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. And these persons who are authoritative for young people (no matter what lies on the surface of the relationship, for a small child a native adult is a significant person, someone who needs to be listened to, well-being and sometimes life itself depend on it; this mechanism continues to operate in later in life) they are told through suggestions. Oh, I mean toast! Family legends, stories from life, wishes to the young for the future life are heard - and the transfer of ancestral experience and ancestral models of married life occurs. “So let’s drink to the young people, so that they have... (further at your discretion).” “But in our family it’s customary...” “I remember my grandmother telling me this story...” The air literally thickens with meta-messages (unspoken, but conveyed and perceived meanings, moods of the phrase): “Oh, and you will have a sip with this girl ... (sigh) happiness.” And all this is perceived by the bride and groom uncritically. Suggestions, as befits suggestions, end up in the right place - in the unconscious. They're trans. And by the newlyweds, by the way, it is clear what quality models are passed on during the wedding ceremony. (Let’s make one more small digression: the wedding feast is a significant part of the wedding ceremony! We may perceive it as just a banquet for the occasion, but this will not be true. It is no coincidence that in the past, the marriage was not considered valid and was not recognized by the villagers,