We are all carriers of family history. In the past, behind our backs, countless branches of our genealogy are intertwined, uniting and alienating entire families, penetrating through the historical events of one country or several countries. Some of these branches withered before they had time to develop, some were tragically cut off in the middle of the path, and some grew, forming more and more new connections. We think that we are freer than we really are. Consciously or unconsciously, we follow the rules laid down by our ancestors. Some parts of our ancestral history can be heard, seen in photographs and felt, but, in general, they do not talk about it - they follow it in secret, without speaking or understanding it. Sometimes you have to fight for the freedom to build your own history. In his book “The Ancestor Syndrome,” A. Schutzenberger tells a funny story, a metaphor that refers us to the past, always present in the present moment. “I was on vacation with my friends in the south of France Getting up early, I went out into the garden to enjoy the view of the rising sun over the mountains. A beautiful and peaceful start to the day. And suddenly I heard a cry: “To the table! Quickly, everyone to the table!" The dogs became alarmed, and I followed them into the living room, but there was no one there. A man's voice, confident and clear, accustomed to giving orders, repeated: "To the table! Monica, come to the table quickly! And straighten your back!" The dogs stopped at the cage with the parrot, stood on their hind legs and, surprised, returned to their places. I, as amazed as they were, remained in the garden waiting for the owners to wake up. Later, my friends told me, that after the death of their grandfather they inherited the parrot. The parrot was already about a hundred years old, and sometimes it “spoke” using the expressions of its past owners. That time I was lucky enough to hear my grandfather, a doctor, calling the whole family - and in particular his grandchildren - to the table. No one knew what “triggered” the parrot’s memory, nor in whose voice he would suddenly speak.” In this metaphor, the author reveals that invisible presence that is always alive in us - for her friends, grandfather is always here, even if he died many years ago. The past has a voice, it calls for order, it is here, it influences the present. Suffering is embedded in my family script. Starting from the dispossessed owner of the mill, my great-great-grandfather, the most distant ancestor about whom at least some information remains, my entire distant family lived in suffering. Premature deaths, serious illnesses, war, alcoholism. The entire experience of my family system tells me: “life is suffering.” Perhaps that is why I decided to become a psychotherapist. In this way I make amends for my happiness - I help others to be happier. I search, continue to search and descend into the depths of my family, and with it into the depths of everything human - that universe that gives you signs, what Jung called the “collective unconscious." I encourage you to delve into family archives, ask about the lives of your grandparents while they are still alive, build your family tree, store and review old photographs - perhaps this is how you will find the way to yourself. I will be glad to help you with this. Thank you for your attention, Nadezhda Lisichkina