Impression from Bion’s book “Learning through experience” When I started reading Bion, I was faced with a misunderstanding of the material. It was I who later found out that I was not the only one so incomprehensible, and continued to read this text, which was incomprehensible to me, especially since it contained an encouraging message: “If something is not clear, there is no need to focus on it, continue reading to the end.” I continued and felt the lack of my mother’s breast as a non-thing. If I don’t understand something, then I start to get angry, project, in general, behave inappropriately (proto-emotion). The frustration is obvious. I begin to look for ways out of this misunderstanding, I go to a place for thinking thoughts, and there I find that I am starting to think in this direction, because I understand that I am reading a complex text that is incomprehensible to me. The thought process is there, but it is still like betta elements, raw, abstract and still does not correspond to the level that I would like to achieve. And the alpha elements manifested themselves in the fact that I still read Bion’s text in strong frustration. I didn’t calm down with this, I listened to all the lectures on this topic, thought about it and understood something, and my analyst became a container, and this process was facilitated by the presence of the alpha function. I might not have calmed down with what I had achieved, but I realized that I don’t pretend to have an idea Bion, that I don’t have this. I caught this process in Freud’s text “Sadness and Melancholia”, how the mechanism of sadness works - “The reality check has shown that the beloved object no longer exists, and it is necessary to divert all libido from connection with this object... the victory is the acceptance of reality... in this case the lost object continues to exist psychically...” In this process, I did not experience a loss of self-worth. I can again return to reading Bion’s book in the hope of getting closer to his thoughts. I myself tried to explain the process of understanding Bion’s table, namely beta elements, alpha elements and alpha function. Bion derived his theory of thinking in accordance with Klein’s theory of projective identification, where thinking keeps pace with frustration and contributes to the thinking process and the development of the psyche. A child, when faced with the situation of an absent breast, with a non-thing (Bion), feels frustration, accompanied by a strong negative affect, which requires a certain effort; this is what Bion calls increased thinking as a result of the processing of affect. Activities associated with the movement of affect and ideas outward or into some part of one's psyche lead to the creation of beta elements. This process can be transformed, or it can retain its quality and falsify mental life due to primitive defenses. And if the alpha function is not impaired, then alpha elements are formed. I already wrote that I do not pretend to be Bion’s thought, and maybe I misunderstood something, but after reading his book “Learning through experience,” I read Freud’s text , and it felt like I was reading a text written by a child. It’s like after an hour’s run you easily fly up to your floor without literally feeling your legs..