I'm not a robot

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I'm not a robot

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I foresee the surprise of expectant mothers when they start reading an article with this title, expecting that it will be about how to establish contact with the future baby. And, truly, this topic is very important and interesting. And therefore it should be given special attention and a separate article. However, in this article we will talk about another child who is even more familiar to mothers. This is the child they once were: little “Tanyusha”, “Lyubochka”, “Gelechka”, “Nyuta”... And, despite the fact that enough time has passed since the actual childhood, our inner child is no-no and it will make itself known. And he does this especially when a mother, future or established, needs to understand and accept that her own childhood is over. This feeling often comes at important, milestone periods in a woman’s life: marriage, pregnancy, the birth of a child. There comes a feeling (rather than an awareness) that time and life no longer fully belong to you as before. You already have to agree on something with your spouse, limit yourself in something or give up something altogether, when you find out that you are pregnant and completely cease to belong to yourself, when the baby appears, when life is divided into feeding, pumping, colic, walks etc. How can our inner child manifest itself? For example, does it happen: in the old days, before pregnancy, it was so great to soak in bed until 10 am, especially on vacation. But while on maternity leave, it is necessary to show up early in the morning for tests at regular intervals. And this procedure of waking up in the morning is now accompanied by a bad mood, irritation, and systematic delays in accounting deadlines for the expectant mother. Or a woman who is heavily pregnant still wears tight, tight jeans, explaining that in them she has a beautiful figure, but in maternity clothes she feels like a barrel and is not at all attractive. Or a nursing mother happily eats whole plates of strawberries, and next to her is a baby with bright scarlet, crimson diathesis cheeks. Of course, the mother knows about the relationship between mother’s and baby’s nutrition, but in response to all the admonitions from others, she declares: “But I want it so bad!” I love her so much!". Isn’t it true, you can find many similarities, for example, with the behavior of a three-year-old child who has felt the taste and strength of his own needs and actively defends them. So, at moments when we have to change our lifestyle, give up habits, accept new conditions of our own existence, our inner child may begin to declare: “I won’t!”, “I’m tired of it!”, “I can’t do it!”, “I don’t want to.” -oo-oo-oo!” These manifestations are often called by others as selfishness, irresponsibility, infantilism, however, it is more important not to name something, but to do something about it. And do exactly what every mother does - listen, teach, raise her child. Don’t scold yourself, don’t shame, don’t be disappointed in yourself and your destiny as a mother, but hear, understand and develop yourself. And the first thing you should start with is listening to what the child inside you reports when you want to cry bitterly or an internal protest arises , or loss of self-confidence. Maybe the little girl inside of you needs support, or demands recognition of her efforts, or simply asks you to remember to love her too. Second, support and accept the right of the child inside you to the feelings and needs that he experiences. Third, give your inner child what it needs. But this is not a plate of strawberries or a night disco, but offering him an alternative option that will also suit his needs. So, if a young mother inside has an unbearable need for rest and personal time, as was before, recognize your right to want this, but tell your inner child this way: “I understand that you haven’t seen your friends for a long time / haven’t read your loved ones books / did not visit a beauty salon. I will definitely find 1 hour for you.

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