A ban is a restriction or prohibition of a child’s freedom of action in something. Usually a prohibition takes the “image” of denial. The peculiarity of prohibitions is that they are not presented to a child just like that, “out of the blue.” Sometimes, of course, the child’s freedom is limited based on common sense, but more often the prohibitive words are based on the parents’ own fears, their unfulfilled or suppressed desires, aggression. For example, if the child’s mother hated the ballet school she went to “with a light hand” parents, then most likely her daughter will be prohibited from dancing. Such a prohibition can be implemented either directly or indirectly through the involvement of the child in a fundamentally different activity (music, drawing, etc.). If the father has always hated physical education, then his child will most likely be presented with a fact from childhood that “ the main thing is mathematics/physics/Russian language” or that “all athletes are “narrow-minded”. Bans vary in intensity, breadth of application, and harmfulness. An obvious connection can be traced between the “scale” of punishment in case of disobedience of a child and the intensity of the ban. If, for example, the prohibition “don’t enjoy life” is intense, then if it is violated, the punishment from the parents will be appropriate. And vice versa - if the intensity of the prohibition is small, then punishment can only appear as disapproval. Prohibitions can be imposed on various types of activities and functioning of the child: “don’t get angry,” “don’t enjoy life,” “don’t get pleasure from sex,” “don’t Laugh - you will cry”, “all boys are liars”, “men are dangerous, you can’t trust them” and others. The choice of the area of ​​prohibition depends on what the parent’s attention is especially focused on. And the “blow” will be delivered exactly there. If we divide prohibitions according to the breadth of their scope, then some impose restrictions on some specific actions. For example: “don’t run,” “don’t scream,” “don’t talk so loud,” etc. .;and others limit the entire repertoire of actions. For example, “don’t think too much,” “don’t be like that,” “don’t have fun,” etc. The harmfulness of a ban means the longevity of its destructive effect. Accordingly, some bans have this effect, others do not. For example, for a chronically ill person, a prohibition may sound like “don’t you dare mess around.” This ban is both long-lasting and harmful. For this reason, a given person can “get away” from a job that does not bring him pleasure, precisely “with the help” of permanent sick leave (and in no other way, since the choice of actions is limited by the experience “observed” from the parents). In especially severe cases, these may not be relatively harmless colds, but also more serious ones, even incurable and fatal. It would be a mistake not to mention that parental prohibitions can also be useful. For example, a mother’s prohibition “don’t touch the socket with your fingers” has a specific purpose - to make the child’s life safer. And in terms of its “quality” it is not harmful (at least this can be said as long as this prohibition is not included in the circle of a broader prohibition - “don’t touch anything around”, etc.) The mentioned prohibition “do not touch the socket with your fingers” will remain in effect until the child learns to use the socket and electrical appliances correctly and safely. And in this regard, the usefulness of the ban is justified. In any case, in order for you to live a freer and richer life, the resulting bans need to be found, analyzed, researched and, of course, work must be done to overcome them. If you are faced with any of your “I can’ts” (“I want to earn a lot - I can’t”, “I want to trust people - I can’t”, “I want to lose weight - I can’t”, etc.) - this is a reason to look for the corresponding prohibition in your life story and seek help from a psychologist.