In the memorable year of 2013 for Rostov-on-Don, I suffered a viral infection, after which I was paralyzed. Before this, it was somehow difficult to communicate with disabled people; they seemed to me like people from another world. Communicating with them, I felt some kind of background awkwardness and shyly looked away... And then, when I spent time in neurology, where almost everyone is like that, and I am like that, I began to look at it completely differently. Firstly, I stopped " "to be afraid" of disabled people. Secondly, there was such a moment, albeit very short-lived, when I could not and did not want to communicate with ordinary people. I began to be “afraid” of them. I was paralyzed in the hospital, both nurses and patients came to my ward to “chat about psychology” and to “heal” mentally))) Since then, I have become very interested in psychosomatics and the connection between the psyche and diseases. I got back on my feet within three months. I was the only one in the ward who was not given antidepressants, because my mood was to fight (perhaps my sports background was affecting me). For some time I walked with a stick. For a while, I couldn’t rely on my body because I knew it would let me down at any moment. And I gradually dealt with my fears, one by one. A year or two later (I don’t remember exactly) my disability was removed. Some disorders remained, but on the MRI there were no traces of damage, although initially they were quite strong. And I’m really angry at the pretentious statements about some kind of difference between healthy people and disabled people))). I am irritated by feelings of inequality, sacrifice, the spirit of rescue and pity... And I also do not feel sorry for the sick and weak. I believe that everyone has strength. There are funds. Or is there an opportunity to find them somewhere or apply somewhere... You definitely don’t need to feel sorry for me. And I can definitely enter into any competition both in life and at work. And, no matter what, I can achieve my goals. I did it all, and did it successfully, both in sickness and in health))) And weakness, this is the other side of strength. And I know that I can be weak and vulnerable, I can cry, laugh, be happy and experience pain. I swallow life like fresh morning air. I enjoy every moment! I think that illness has a lot of resources. When death is over your shoulder and when you know that tomorrow you can become paralyzed forever (the diagnosis has not been removed and cannot be made for sure), there is so much power!!! And there is joy in perceiving life as it is, without any fluff of introjects. Enjoy every minute and every new day. So, I became happier, and life is richer after disability)))) Accepting my own powerlessness was important for me, this was also a resource. I was told that the diagnosis is lifelong and how much longer I have to walk on my own feet no one knows, it could be a month, it could be a year, or it could be 20 years (this seems to be the maximum) until the next exacerbation. At the beginning there was such a turning point, I seriously talked to my husband so that he would weigh all the difficulties, and suggested that he leave. He also thought, then he said that it would probably be difficult for him to accept my illness, but he loves it very much and is ready to try. The hardest thing for me was to accept hopelessness. And then I thought that every person has threats in life, someone... then a brick will fall on your head, something else will happen to someone else. And I just began to capture every moment of this life. And it became rich for me. And then somehow I forgot about my illness, now I live a full life. Sometimes, when I start to get bored, I remind myself of the value of life and every minute lived. And immediately everything falls into place))) And I often remember Castaneda when he wrote that every warrior must always remember that death follows his left shoulder, and it is always nearby and can overtake at any moment. This, however, gives strength and returns you to the “here and now.” Now I work a lot with clients on issues of psychosomatics, health, and perception of life. And the quality of life really improves. Life is filled with meaning))). I wish you health, joy and fulfillment in your life!!!! Yours