From the author: A real story about how an ordinary woman coped with the problem of “underachievement,” came out of “maternity leave,” and found time for herself, family and work For many women, maternity leave is a condition. Someone found themselves in this and enjoys it. And someone, due to various circumstances, has lingered in the role of a housewife and dreams of going to work as soon as possible. The story of my heroine is just about this. Meet my heroine, this is Katya, she is 31, married, two children. Going on maternity leave for the first time, she was fully confident that at 1.5 years old the child would go to kindergarten and she would go to work. Katya LOVES her FAMILY, but ALSO LOVES WORK. She never imagined herself as a housewife. Cooks without inspiration, out of necessity. She’s used to order in the house, but she can’t stand cleaning it up. Playing children's games has always been boring for her, as long as she can remember. But even before school, she read books avidly and now enjoys reading to her children at night. But you also need to play with the child - this is his main form of understanding the world in preschool childhood. It was during this period that my mother was on maternity leave. Therefore, it was difficult for Katya to imagine how it was possible to “sit” at home with a child without work for a WHOLE year. It turns out it is possible. And not alone. She ended up with a whole SIX YEARS. It so happened that life turned into a continuous Groundhog Day. The days changed and flew by unnoticed. Cooking, washing, cleaning, walking, unsuccessful attempts to put the child to sleep, own lack of sleep. Attempts to somehow maintain contact with society and organize joint purchases of children's goods. Fear of “falling out of the picture,” of falling behind in life while on a long “vacation.” The eternal collapse of hopes for at least a little rest and sleep - because the CHILD SLEEP BADLY and was CONSTANTLY SICK. There is a lot of guilt for not being an IDEAL MOTHER, not an ideal wife. There is a lot of disappointment and resentment due to ruined plans and unfulfilled hopes that a child is only a joy. And there is a lot of hidden, suppressed, unconscious anger due to the fact that she is NOT WORKING OUT THE WAY SHE WANTS, namely, to succeed in EVERYTHING AND EVERYWHERE. So that it would be LIKE IN THE PICTURE - a well-groomed beautiful woman, next to her loving smiling husband, surrounded by three joyful and rosy-cheeked children against the backdrop of a perfectly decorated apartment. THE IDEAL PICTURE AND REALITY DID NOT MATCH AT ALL. Katya was not the kind of woman who has time for children, for your husband and for yourself, including your hobbies and work. Somewhere in the corner of her consciousness she admitted the idea that the ideal does not exist, in real life it is different, but she stubbornly did not want to admit it and for several years she ruined herself with self-flagellation, which poisoned the life not only of her, but also of those close to her. K 1, For the 5-year-old eldest child, the thought of going to work went from being so desirable to the category of “horror-horror.” Katya imagined how often she would have to take sick leave because of a sick child. Combined with the perfectionism of being both a caring mother and an ideal employee, this thought made her panic. It was easier to close her eyes and not look at this problem. Remember, like when you were a child: you cover your eyes with your palms and think that you cannot be seen. But this method helps a 2-year-old child. And when an adult aunt does this, then INTERNAL TENSION AND ANXIETY gradually begins to GROW. Neurosis develops with all sorts of unpleasant symptoms - fears, hysterics, COMPLAINTS ABOUT CHILDREN, as if they are the root of evil and the source of all misfortunes in the life of a suffering mother. The human psyche is structured in such a way that from 2 options, it chooses the one that is simpler and safer. For many years, it was more convenient for Katya not to solve her problems, but to continue to “sit” further on maternity leave, nurturing hopes that when the child turns three years old, everything will resolve itself and magically change. She was already UNCOMFORTABLE in her swamp of life, BUT SAFE. The level of discomfort has not yet reached a critical mass for her to decide to change something in her life. Situation)