Today we’ll talk about a very popular topic that only psychologists from Russia like to discuss. I suppose this has to do with the cultural aspect, because it is generally accepted that the ideal marriage is patriarchal, where a woman should take second place, remain silent and be behind her husband’s back. A marriage where a woman is worried that some of her actions will affect the fact that her husband will no longer be successful, rich, or do anything at all. But let’s figure out whether it’s so bad to be a mother to your own husband, and how to really avoid becoming one. ▪️Who is mom? Let's move a little away from the title of the article and introduce the mother. What is she like? Introduced? Soft, warm, supportive, non-judgmental, non-critical. You always want to cling to her shoulder, to be stroked on the head and told that everything is fine... Ideal or “good enough” according to Winnikcott. Let's be honest now, we would all like our partners to become our mothers. After all, the ideal marriage for you is most likely a union of two people who hear and listen to each other, respond very sensitively to each other’s needs, which are full of love and acceptance. Being a mother to your partner isn’t the secret to an ideal marriage!? ▪️Why is being a mommy bad for your husband? Now let’s return to the topic of the article and forget about a fairly good mother. What do we mean when it says “not to become a mother to your husband”? An authoritative, critical position from above, destructive and domineering. A woman who controls everything and knows how to do it right. ▪️And yet, how not to become a controlling mother? 1. Answer yourself the question, where can you find an example of a warm and supportive woman in a relationship? How do you want to be next to your husband? Unfortunately, traditional families assume that a woman should calm down, fade into the background, and a man should become such that I can be proud of you. Traditional values ​​are not bad, the only question is, are they right for you? Research this. 2. Develop yourself. Yes, pop advice. But in order to become a support for someone, we need to learn to take responsibility for ourselves, to develop ourselves in separation from our husband. 3. Separate personal and family. We are inclined to merge, but by sharing your realization and the realization of your husband, your and his desires, you will become that strong couple. Support and support. Moms for each other.