- Dear, I’ll run to my neighbor for a minute, and in half an hour you turn off the stove. The topic of time is one of my favorites in work and in life. Today I propose to talk about being late: about what to do when you are late and when you have to wait for someone. First, a little “test”. Imagine that you agreed on a meeting at 10:00, but someone detained you (for example, a police squad or a neighbor’s squad). And now, at 9:50, you are on the road, and the drive takes half an hour (if there are no traffic jams). This means you’ll be at least 20 minutes late. Question 1: Will you call the person waiting to notify you that you’ll be late? There’s no time to call - I have to mentally rush the bus (switch traffic lights, curse “dummies”). I’ll call as soon as I realize that I’m late .I’ll call at 10:00. I’ll call at 10:15. Question 2: If you call (or he calls you himself), then: I’ll say that I’m just a little late (“That’s it, I’m already on my way”). I’ll tell you how much I’m actually late (or even with reserve). I, of course, don’t know how you answered, but in life I more often meet people who would prefer not to call, and if they call, they will in every possible way downplay the time of their lateness. At the same time, it cannot be said that such a person is irresponsible, no. And the reason may be quite valid, but... Why is it so difficult to admit that you are late? Yes, because Marivanna will look sternly over her glasses and demand a diary! And no amount of stories about how you helped the old lady get to level nine in DOOM across the street will help. And then a conversation with my parents (okay, if without a belt). And so the years passed. On long retirement evenings, Marivanna looks at photographs of her students and, remembering how unfair she was to them, sobs inconsolably. And the other Marivanna, immortal and ageless, has settled in your head forever (don’t be afraid, this is not schizophrenia) and just stares over her glasses with her little eyes. Therefore, being late still causes anxiety, guilt, makes you come up with all sorts of excuses, etc., etc. As a result, I so childishly want to “hide”, sneak quietly and sit in the back desk, maybe it will blow away. We figured out who is to blame (God grant them good health and long life). What to do about it now? Evicting strangers from your head (and M.I. is not alone there, there is also mom, dad, grandmothers, uncles, Winnie the Pooh and all, all, all), of course, it would be good, but this is a long, troublesome task and without the help of a psychotherapist unlikely. However, you can help yourself. The simplest and most paradoxical case in its simplicity is to do something that you diligently avoid. As soon as you realize that you will be late for a meeting, you should call (as early as possible), apologize, explain (not make excuses, but explain, and only if it makes sense) and renegotiate! It is to agree again, taking into account your changed circumstances, with a reserve of time (that is, if you are 20 minutes late, ask to meet in 30). Then it turns out that: a. You are no longer late! You are going to a meeting at 10:30 and you have 10 minutes to spare. b. The one who is waiting for you will not nervously look at his watch and be indignant at your lack of punctuality. He will be waiting for you at 10:30 a.m. In addition, by warning the person, you gave him the opportunity to do something instead of wasting time waiting for you. After all, if a person is waiting for someone from minute to minute, then he is unlikely to do anything productive. This increases the irritation towards the latecomer - he steals time! Now a couple of practical tips to help the “victims of latecomers”. Each of us has a lot of small things that tend to accumulate. You can successfully cope with them just while you're waiting: check your email and write a couple of short letters, water the flowers, tidy up your desk or put things in order in your electronic archive, make a call. For this, it is useful to have a list of such short tasks on paper in advance. Well, and since the note turned out to be so instructive, let’s amplify it with a fragment of Seneca’s letter to Lucilius: “Everything, O Lucilius, is not]