I often hear the opinion that it has become fashionable to blame all problems on our parents. Since you are an adult, that means you need to behave like an adult. And don’t complain about childhood. This begs a simple question. Where do adults come from? That's right, they grow up from small children. A baby is born into the world as a blank slate. It contains certain genetics, temperament and character. But then his personality, like plasticine, is formed by significant people and the environment in which he grows up. Our parents put attitudes into our consciousness. They may have these preferences themselves or want to make you more comfortable. Doesn't matter. Because you carry some attitudes with you throughout your life. For example, my mother often said to her daughter: “If you don’t learn to wash dishes well, no one will marry you.” And now the girl develops two attitudes: 1. Getting married is vital.2. To be loved, you need to be a good housewife. As we grow up, we absorb certain beliefs, attitudes, and get injured. Our parents rarely thought about what they were putting into our heads. And if they did, they acted intuitively, since they had no information. More often than not, they did as they were taught. As a result, we got adults with a persistent picture of the world in their heads, for example: - women who do not feel their value simply by birthright. They have learned well that love must be earned - men who do not know that a woman is not a servant, that he must be responsible for the family. If something goes wrong in life, you need to figure it out and look for the roots in childhood. No, it is not infantile to look for a reason in childhood. When we try to understand what happened in childhood that we now cannot build normal relationships, cannot advance in our careers, we are not acting immaturely. On the contrary, it is a very mature and courageous act to look where it is sometimes scary to look. And even more so, starting to look for the roots of your problems, understanding and working on yourself sometimes also costs a lot of effort. And if you have made such an important decision, then you should be proud of yourself. And you need to remember that when you decide to start searching for and working through childhood traumas, you do not blame your parents for anything, you do not do anything bad to them. Many of them did this not intentionally, but out of ignorance. You do this to heal yourself and raise another, happy generation. My name is Dinara Dzhumagulova. I am a psychologist-consultant. I provide consultations online. I specialize in finding and elaborating beliefs and attitudes that negatively affect life.