So the official breakup happened. And if earlier there was still hope deep in my soul that everything would get better, disagreements and problems would disappear like a bad dream, but now all the bridges have been burned and we need to move on with our lives. But how to live if there is hopeless melancholy in your soul and the future appears in black whenever you try to imagine your further existence without him? Yes, he is a scoundrel and a traitor who did not appreciate your care and love, neglected you and destroyed the family happiness you so carefully cultivated. But where will such thoughts and experiences lead you? No matter how hard you try, it is impossible to immediately forget not only the bad, but also all the good that happened between you. And the thought comes about one’s own guilt in what happened, self-flagellation begins and, as a result, depression. How to avoid this and survive the period after divorce without harming yourself? Let me give you some brief and, of course, far from complete advice on behavior in such a situation. First, let’s remember that you still see each other often. Either because it is necessary to agree on the division of property, or - what is even more difficult - you continue to live in the same apartment, awaiting a decision on the exchange or another option. And at every meeting, many hear: “God, how happy I am with the newfound freedom and liberation from your claims, whims, inattention, coldness in bed, etc. (select the one you need).” Another option: “Well, you’re happy, you destroyed your family, now enjoy your freedom, I’ll see how you live without me...”. There may be many options, but it is worth remembering that all his statements have only one goal. To instill in you a feeling of guilt and uncertainty about the future, and at the same time to be imbued with the energy of your suffering. The worse you feel, the better your ex-partner feels. And here I want to give the first advice. Do not rush to contradict and launch a counterattack. This is exactly what they expect from you, in order to get a reason to hit even harder. Make an unconventional move. “Yes, honey, I’m also happy that you got rid of the unbearable me. Now your life will improve and you will finally find happiness. I'm so happy about this! Or: “Of course, dear, it’s all my fault, but now you can build your life the way you want and deserve!” I hope the point is clear. There's no need to start arguing. Disarm him, make him think that the victim in this situation, as it turns out, is not you at all. I understand that this is difficult and unpleasant. Resentment bubbles in my chest and I really want to say nasty things to him. But the result then will be different. You will receive an additional portion of insults and insults, another reason for suffering, and this is what we strive to avoid. Remember that there is a great actress inside every woman and use this quality to the fullest. Next, it’s worth talking about dreams and plans for future life. Almost all women immediately after a divorce begin to make plans for their future existence and are shocked to see that everything is not at all rosy. Further life seems dull and hopeless, there is no hope for a good future, and is not expected. And here we come to the next tip. Planning for the distant future immediately after a divorce is an absolutely futile and even harmful activity. It is better to focus on small joys that will give you positive emotions here and now. Change your image, invite guests, go to the cinema or theater, sit with your friends in a cafe. Take a break from gloomy thoughts, please yourself, your beloved, you deserve it. After all, surviving a divorce and coming out of it with your head held high is not something everyone can do, but you did it, for which honor and praise are due to you. Another issue that the woman tries to resolve as quickly as possible is the division of housing. She is in a hurry, agrees to any options, just to find her own nest. But your partner categorically disagrees and, feeling your desire to quickly cut this knot, strives to take as much as possible for himself and a little more. My advice to you is don’t rush. Seeing how you enjoy life (see tip #2) and not.