Valuing yourself is both a simple and difficult task for many people. Sometimes it happens that a person begins to see his value only at the expense of other people. A substitution of concepts occurs. A person actually creates the illusion that he values ​​himself, but in reality he is only looking for confirmation that “I am good” in the words and actions of other people. For example, it happens that a girl is promiscuous. Why does she need this? No, her parents did not raise her this way, they did not say that having sex with just anyone is the lot of good girls. But sometimes such a girl does not see any other option for herself. She turns on the belief “They want me, so everything is fine.” This is an attempt to find one’s worth (albeit through sex) at the expense of other people. Using the same principle, people try to achieve ideal results in school, work, hobbies and any other everyday activities. Why do they need this? Yes, because they will expect a good assessment from others. If a teacher gives such a person “good” instead of “excellent,” then the value along with this grade will drop sharply. I’ll repeat it again. A person does not see this very value, but creates only its “appearance” in his own eyes. That is, he has an illusory idea that he himself believes in. And they can engage in such self-deception forever. And deception can manifest itself in completely different ways. But one day a person may want to know the truth. Want to figure out why he is so anxious and depressed. And then in psychotherapy he can find out that he doesn’t really value himself. And I never did. And all his beliefs boil down to “I’m worthless,” “there’s something wrong with me,” or “I’m worthless.” And it’s important to start working with this. It is important to see the real value, to accept yourself for who you are. It's time to throw away old strategies of behavior and start valuing yourself, and not at the expense of someone else. And having started to value yourself, perhaps other people will value you even more. © Psychologist Nikita Myshev, 2022. All rights reserved. Sign up for a consultation: +7-906-719-84-00 Whatsapp/Telegram