From the author: What happens between realizing the need to change something in yourself and making the decision to visit a psychologist? About this in this article. Those who think for a long time do not always find the best solution. Johann Wolfgang Goethe If we look at our life experience, we can confidently say that we are what we are thanks to the decisions we have made in life. Or someone mistook it for us. This refers to important decisions, after which life changes and a new stage begins. Choosing a school or institute, place of work, life partner. In each case, we decided to follow the chosen path, realizing that there would be no turning back. The moment when a person understands that it is time to turn to a psychologist for help is not yet a decision. This is just an awareness of the need for change. After this, you can return to normal, but not entirely pleasant, life activities, but with a clear understanding that “something needs to be changed.” Nevertheless, such a person can already be called a potential client. This is where the appearance of various kinds of excuses like “if only” usually begins. “I would turn to a psychologist if...” Then there are many possible options: ... if I understood what was wrong with me... if it got really bad... if I knew that it would definitely help... if I had the money for it ...if I had free time for a session...if I had found a really good specialist...if I wasn’t sure that everything would resolve itself. Each of them has good reasons to leave everything as it is. The client will be satisfied with the “legitimate” arguments found in order not to make a decision to go to a psychologist. Everything would be fine if what was desired became real. For example, in the last “if only” of the examples above, one can only envy the optimism shown. As you know, having faith can work miracles and really solve any problems. However, often such optimism can disappear and be replaced by frustration or even panic from not knowing what to do. What still makes a client decide to see a psychologist? Let's consider the reasons that prompt a client to seek help from a specialist despite all sorts of excuses in the form of “if "1. Fear due to the hopelessness of the situation. When the situation becomes so unbearable that a new thought arises: “you can’t live like this any longer,” then a person can no longer be satisfied with any “ifs.” The feeling of frustration, hopelessness and even panic described above will be a good reason to start acting right now. Oddly enough, such strong negative feelings also carry a positive meaning. Many people subsequently describe such significant mental upheaval as the basis for their extraordinary achievements. True, few of these people would agree to relive all this again. 2. Psychosomatic health problems. One’s own health is a value that is especially acutely realized when it is lost. If health problems arise, there is an immediate motive to consult a specialist. There are often cases when doctors once again cannot find any physical causes of the disease. Psychosomatic problems defy logic and classification within the framework of conventional medicine. A standard recommendation may sound like this: “try seeing a psychologist.” In part, this is a type of hopelessness, which was mentioned in paragraph 1.3. Multiple failures, despair to change something. We have already mentioned above about optimism associated with the confidence that everything will pass by itself. However, it happens that with every attempt to change something, this confidence becomes less and less. At some point, despair reaches its maximum, and a desire arises to deal with the situation without fail. The most difficult despair in this situation is the loss of faith. Sometimes a person can make the opposite decision - continue to do nothing, because “nothing can help the matter.” Get out here on your own... ☼☼☼