We often say - “I can’t do anything about it. This is beyond me. Of course, I really want to, but I can’t do anything.” And this “something” takes away our desire, our resource, choice, our actions. And we say: “This is how life works!” And we are looking for someone to blame for the not very pleasant events that are happening. “Ah-ah-ah, it’s all Ivan’s (and many other people’s) fault. It’s his fault that I found myself in this situation.” And it turns out that I don’t control my life. Strange people and circumstances come into my life that move me from situation to situation, from swamp to swamp. Differently. And also, I am waiting for people in my life who will take me to a place where I will feel good and beautiful. And here you can realize and say: “Wow, apparently, at some point I allowed Ivan and the emotions associated with him to be in a difficult situation. Do I want to be here?” Where am I leading all this? There is my field, my space. And there are some external stimuli, events, people. And they, one way or another, influence me, and I influence them. And when the effect is favorable, the feelings are pleasant, I say: “Yes, yes! Love me". And when the impact, external stimuli (events, people) are unpleasant, then I say: “Oh, I don’t want that.” And what can I do? I can go to a person and say: “Change! And I will be fine. Or disappear completely from my life.” I can run up to him and start shaking him: “Do me good, change. What happens inside me greatly depends on you. Change, I feel so uncomfortable when you are like this!” Do you think this is possible? Is it effective? Whose life are you involved in? Well, is it really easier to live someone else’s life than your own? Is it really easier? Well, it seems like our own flows somehow and it becomes more convenient for others. We have illusions that we can do something. And we firmly believe in this. And we cannot change that experience, those people in our lives. The only thing we can do is here, in our field, to change something within ourselves. And there are 2 positions. When our focus is on ourselves, we become the Author of our life. We are ADULTS, SELF-SUFFICIENT, STRONG, and we have such a resource in ourselves! And such opportunities open up, such a huge field appears! And we know how to give ourselves support! When we are involved in the life of another person, we are a victim of circumstances. And here we are small and hope for someone, something, a miracle! Victim Author of Life position of expectation position of responsibility energy directed outward energy directed inward “You offended me” “I allowed myself to be offended” And it is quite unresourceful, ineffective and ineffective to give your life into the hands of other people. Compare two phrases: “You offended me, you hurt me, you made me angry” and “I allowed myself to be offended, I allowed myself to be hurt and I’m still angry.” Think about the difference and watch yourself! Take care of yourself!