How to accept your age? A common plot of all fairy tales: the princess turned 16 and pricked her finger, fell asleep, then was saved by the prince. There is a male version: the prince became 16 years old, and his father sent him to distant lands for ... the firebird, the king's maiden, the golden fleece or something else. As a result, the princess is married to the prince, and the prince has at least half a kingdom. Life is good. What am I talking about? Besides, each of us comes to an age when it’s time to take stock and move on. At the age of 16, fairy-tale heroes already have a certain maturity, thanks to which they successfully implement the tasks assigned to them. But in real life it’s often not like that. 16 is a conditional limit, you should not “cling” to it. But it is there. And looking back, questions arise: have I achieved this, am I going there, am I the right partner, and am I still young enough or not? This is how the feeling of rejection of one’s age begins. This is not about children trying to become adults. Children are just playing. Adult life seems to them to be a manifestation of great opportunities. We're talking about adults. As a rule, it is difficult for a person to accept his age when he is going through a personal crisis. Internally, he feels young: “It’s still too early for me,” “I still have time,” but there are facts that indicate the opposite. It is especially difficult for those who actually look younger due to genetics. Such youthful parents don’t even seem to understand where they have such grown-up children, 15-20 years old, and consider them friends. I’ll name a few signs of non-acceptance of age. Cloth. There are three trends here. The first is to dress like a teenager in baggy, unisex clothes. Of course, this outfit is comfortable. But sometimes, the choice is not about convenience, but about trying to be young. The second is emphatically sexy clothing. I believe that you can be attractive to the opposite sex at any age, but excessively tight, short, low-cut, transparent clothes are not always appropriate, even if you have an absolutely ideal figure. The third is a trend for the 2000s. What is in fashion now is what was worn in the 2000s: short tops, tight skirts, sweaters with a hole for the thumb, shiny fabrics. And not only modern youth buy such clothes, but also those who are now well over 30. For us, this is not just stylish, it is a state of “remembering youth,” “shaking up the old days.” Sometimes memories warm the soul, but only when they do not develop into rejection of the present. Changes in appearance. Plastic surgery, beauty injections. Well, no comments here. I'll just tell you an anecdote. “A 40-year-old woman received a Botox injection and asked the doctor how old she looked. Answer: 40 years with Botox.” Taking care of your appearance is important, but no procedure will bring back a youthful face and body. Behavior inappropriate for age. For example, flirting. Flirting is wonderful, but when it is conscious and in the right situation. Flirting by a father with his daughter's friends, or a mother with her son's friends, is a manifestation of rejection of one's age. It is flirting, not attention, interest, care. It’s as if the adults are the same age as their teenage children. This also includes cheerful spontaneity in making financial decisions, ease of enthusiasm - even on a hike, even to a night club, even at night quest games, even at romantic trips with unfamiliar people, such youth, childish gaiety... standing in line at the MFC or pension fund. Lack of plans for life. “It seems that I have just begun to live, everything is ahead.” It's hard for children to plan - their parents decide everything for them. Young people, gaining independence, are in search for some time. But internally, adults have clear goals and understand responsibility for achieving them and not achieving them. The attribute of a self-accepting person is plans to achieve goals. When there are no plans, this is an indicator of non-acceptance of age. Frequent changes of activities. How do children play? First blocks, then drawing, we danced, our daughters and mothers, now I’m a doctor, a fireman, we scribbled on the wallpaper, we chased the cat - and all within half an hour. Adult life means consistency. Since we have chosen a profession, we needwork in it. Yes, we do not have slavery, but there are duties that are important to fulfill. People who do not accept their age experience very rapid burnout from any activity; they start everything from scratch. Remember your friends: a swimming coach, a manicurist, a stylist, a massage therapist, an SMM specialist, a numerologist. Of course, learning new things is useful; it allows the brain to always develop. But self-acceptance occurs when a person chooses the main area of ​​sincere interest to himself and tries to go deeper into it. The role of an eternal student or a novice specialist really makes you look younger on the social ladder. They prefer not to communicate with peers. People often remember stories about directors who marry young actresses and businessmen who choose models. And they also remember legends about kings surrounding themselves with virgins. This is how these “powers of this world” feel their youth, “he’s still a man, he can do it.” Communication with older people really does rejuvenate you. Parents who sincerely play with their babies sometimes feel the same way for 3-5 years. Still, it's a question of degree. Playing with children is a temporary condition. But choosing exclusively young partners and friends is a reason to talk about non-acceptance of oneself. There is also the opposite manifestation - a craving for people older than oneself. In the case of the aforementioned actresses and models, the explanation may lie in self-interest. But not always, such people are simply not interested in being with peers. Internally, they position themselves in a different generation. So communicating with people older than myself reassures me that I’m actually still very young, I’m still very far ahead. I have a strong emotional connection with my parents, I want to ask for advice or change them. Such a relationship has nothing to do with respect for elders. The need to constantly ask for advice, to agree on something with mom or dad, speaks of incomplete separation and non-acceptance of age. Adults decide for themselves what is important to them, can be responsible for their actions, know how to help others, and respect their own and others’ boundaries. Getting stuck in some “era”. Such people often talk in great detail about some very important period of their life and seem to be living it now. So businessmen can remember the dashing 90s, someone remembers the peak of their career - work in a certain company, someone remembers their popularity and attractiveness, and someone even demonstrates on May 1st. Everyone has their own best time. And living it anew with each story, we look little into the future, live little here and now, little accept today’s life, with its pros and cons. Manifestations of aversion to age may be unconscious by the person himself. “I just live as I please.” But why do you like this particular thing, won’t there be a serious disappointment later? Only through accepting yourself, including your age, is sustainable self-esteem and life satisfaction possible. How to accept your age? See the benefits. They are always there. Teenagers have raging hormones. Because of them, passions run high, many things are seen too clearly, including bad things. And at 30 years old, it’s much easier. You need to understand what you want. This point is the most difficult. But working with a psychologist helps to analyze needs, values ​​and highlight the main thing. Awareness of your desires is the basis of acceptance. Treat yourself with care. In our society there is a cult of achievements; in past generations, the hero was Pavel Korchagin - the hero of labor, who many times exceeded the production norm, or the Stakhanovites. Going through check-ups of the body and developing the competence of rest is not accepted. But if we want to live happily ever after, it is important to respect our health. No amount of work results will bring him back. Yes, in our youth we can have fun all night and go to a university lecture in the morning. But such a reserve of health will not always be available. You can endlessly sigh about the lost strength, but it is better to appreciate the available resources and develop them. Reduce criticism of yourself. Any experience brings wisdom and new career opportunities. Yes, we have not achieved something, but we can do a lot. Any age. If you are constantly biting yourself for what you missed, then here.