In contrast to the myth of innate brotherly and sisterly love, there is a scientific biological theory about intraspecific competition. The little man does not yet have his own system of moral values. His desires are primitive and specific, cognitive skills are just being formed, therefore, behavior is more determined by instincts than by social and cultural norms accepted in society. Intraspecific competition - the struggle for the same life resources between individuals of the same species, is much tougher than interspecific competition, because representatives of the same species have the same needs for environmental factors. It is impossible to force a child to refuse to conflict with someone whose existence threatens to push him out of his ecological niche. Fantasies that the other one got what should have been mine, as a rule, do not correspond to reality. The lack of a sense of peace, protection and security is only a subjective assessment of the processes taking place. This discomfort depends on many more diverse factors than the child can imagine. In simple words, if one child in the family has lost something, it does not mean that the same has gained for another. Competition is more intense between children of the same sex than between children of different sexes. The difference in age plays a role, but only in relation to the form of manifestation of symptoms in which intraspecific competition will be expressed. Even if the youngest child is the same age as the first grandchild, competition will take place. Particular attention should be paid to families where children are entrusted with the responsibility of compensating for the lack of love of their parents’ parents. Families in which children function as “part of the career” of their parents also exist according to special rules, but even there, the intraspecific competition between children cannot be abolished. In dysfunctional families, there is a big problem with the adequacy of the “arbiters,” and intraspecific competition takes on non-standard forms. If adults are not able to organize and adjust the hierarchical vertical within the family in a simple, clear and accessible way, intraspecific competition between younger members becomes especially pronounced, and, subsequently , can cause serious neuroticism. Children compete not so much for the feeling of love itself, but for a place in the “hierarchy of the pack”, territory and guaranteed security, together with the feeling of belonging to a group that this feeling can provide them. Relationships between brothers and sisters can become truly related at the time of interspecies conflict. That is, when a family unites against a common enemy, intraspecific conflicts fade away. But, nevertheless, early hardening by intraspecific competition brings a person much more benefit than its absence. Victory achieved in the struggle for recognition and resources within the family is a subjective concept. Losing may turn out to be a “lucky ticket”. Provided that the process of intraspecific competition has not caused serious psychological trauma, this experience allows one to better adapt to subsequent interspecific conflicts, develop a strategy for success in achieving goals and interaction in society. In simple words, someone who has been hardened by serious intraspecific competition comes to interspecific competition with the motto - “They didn’t tear shawls like that” and “They didn’t bend the rafters like that.” Translating from the language of biology into the language of psychology: - No one can be obliged to love anyone, even if they have common genes. People who were born and raised in the same family may never live up to each other's expectations. Therefore, you need to adjust your expectations, not your relative. A period of bad relationships and mutual grievances between brothers and sisters can develop into strong ties based on trust, if the external environment changes. As well as vice versa. I wish everyone mental health. Sign up for an online consultation WhatsApp Telegram +7912207 1020