How our helplessness was treated in childhood determines what expectations we will project into our old age. We are helpless when we are in infancy and old age. Many fears associated with old age originate in early childhood. Old age is often feared by those people who never managed to be children. Adults usually assigned their responsibilities to such children. Children looked after their younger brothers and sisters, cooked, washed, and cleaned. And in the evenings we listened to the parents’ complaints. Dad often told me that he had suspicions that his mother was not faithful to him. I listened to my dad, I wanted to protect my mom, but I saw that he was upset that I was taking my mom’s side and not supporting him. Nina, 37 years old (name changed) Such complaints from parents put the child in the place of their grandparents. Since the parent here seems to come to complain to his parent. In this example, the dad did not think about the fact that his daughter could not take sides in this conflict. Both mom and dad are equally important to her. When the daughter came to her father with her problems, she did not find understanding with him. And she had no one to rely on. She couldn't be helpless. She needed to be omnipotent in order to withstand her dad’s complaints and not be destroyed by it. If the parents did not give space to the child’s helplessness, then this helplessness still found a way out through another path already in adulthood. I was always drawn to people who reject me. I wrote messages, but the person read them and did not respond. I wanted to write to him again and again, I wanted him to hear me. I wrote about my feelings, but they remained unanswered. Nina, 37 years old (name changed) The craving for emotionally cold, rejecting people here acts as a mechanism that helps to act out one’s helplessness. Nina is completely helpless in front of someone who does not answer her. Helplessness allows her to relax, to be in a state that was inaccessible to her in childhood. Until helplessness is legalized, the attraction to rejecting people will continue. How can helplessness be legalized? Each person will have their own options and steps. The main thing: it is important to generally recognize that it exists as a polarity to omnipotence. We have both one and the other. Helplessness helps us rest and relax, giving us space to realize the talents of other people when we cannot cope with something. Helplessness helps other people make money from what we cannot do. Omnipotence helps us believe in ourselves, take action, take risks, take on slightly more difficult tasks, achieve results, make money. These two polarities are equally important. And they definitely should have a place. If any of them is in the shadows, it will somehow be reflected in life. The psyche will find a way to show helplessness. But this method may not suit you. Margarita Chernykh