From the author: If you firmly know that anger is a bad feeling and you need to get rid of it, then please do not read this article. Imagine, in one production team, for example, in the design department of some machine-building plant, two women work (in addition to other employees): Marina Ivanovna and Elena Petrovna (names are fictitious, all coincidences are accidental). Marina Ivanovna is, at first glance, the most sincere person. He will never refuse. He never says a harsh word or even raises his voice. He will never do any harm to anyone. Elena Petrovna – “simpler”. She speaks directly when she doesn't like something. It may come “out of sorts” and then it becomes quite harsh in communication. And when she’s “in the spirit,” she’s quite adequate. But something like this: she speaks quite directly and always indicates if something does not suit her. It would seem that if an employee, for example, needed a pencil, then who would he turn to? It’s more logical to assume that it’s to Marina Ivanovna, right? She will not only give you a pencil, but also give you a smile. But - strange thing! - For some reason, everyone tries to contact her less often, and, other things being equal, they will always choose to communicate with Elena Petrovna. Even though she is known as a “strict woman.” Why is that? Because if a person takes a pencil from Elena Petrovna for five minutes (with subsequent return, of course), then she will calmly give it to him. If he contacts me a second time, she will already say: “Go ahead and get yours already, since you often need it!” The third one might get even more serious. Well, unless, of course, these three times are not over the course of one year, but, for example, for three days in a row. If a person turns to Marina Ivanovna, she will smile at him and give him a pencil... But then she will definitely say something like that, some kind of “joke”. For example, about how good it is to work in a team where they buy pencils for you. And if a person, embarrassed, says: “Come on, don’t be angry, Marina Ivanovna,” then she will answer with a laugh: “What are you talking about! I never get angry! And I don’t advise you! This is harmful!” What am I getting at? Elena Petrovna turns her irritation into a constructive direction. She doesn't like that people often ask her for a pencil. She perceives this as an invasion of her boundaries and takes action to defend them: she shows that she does not like it and that next time she may not satisfy the request. Thus, her need for self-defense is satisfied. Accordingly, the energy of irritation is completely processed. Marina Ivanovna does not understand that her body, her body produces energy to defend its boundaries. She doesn't recognize her need. She “quite sincerely” (maybe it makes sense to write even without quotation marks) believes that she “doesn’t know how to get angry.” Therefore, he tries to ignore the rising energy. But the body is always stronger, and will find a use for it. More on this below, but for now, continuing to look at the said lady, we see that her energy of irritation finds its way to realization through not direct, as in the case of Elena Petrovna, but indirect aggression. For example, being in the same room with colleagues, where they are all working, Marina Ivanovna can say out loud - so that everyone can hear: “Oh! Look what I read on the Internet! It turns out that prostatitis in men is now “younger”! Wow!" How will men react? Somehow they will “strain” a little, I suppose, because the news is not the most pleasant for them. And for some it’s not news, but quite a reality. So he will become generally sad. Or, for example, having heard about how someone was “cut off” on the road: “Yes, now everyone drives like that! The rights must be taken away from half of them! Or even more! Why is all this being done? And then, that each of the men “offended” before Marina Ivanovna: someone carried a penciltook it for five minutes, someone made a dirty joke in her presence, and someone looked too much like the guy who sat next to her on the trolley bus two years ago, and it made him SO sick! Well, it’s about the same story with cars. She no longer remembers who she doesn’t love and why (or rather, she probably already hates her). Remembers that “they are all bastards!” It's enough. Moreover, the matter is not limited to men. The point is not gender (although she can somehow selectively limit “focus groups” for herself). But just try to answer someone: “Why are you sinning on us, Marina Ivanovna!..” He will be immediately interrupted: “Yes, I’m okay!” I never get angry! It’s just me... Simple.” Well, or something else like that. If a person, bewildered by what is happening, tries to prove to her that she is, in fact, very clearly hinting at “those present here,” then she will face even more violent aggression. But even after she breaks into a scream and is delicately hinted at what she is doing, she will categorically object. Well, or in the most extreme case: “They brought it!!! I’ve never done anything bad... nothing... to anyone!..” Now I’ll tell you a little about how the energy of anger (in fact, not only this feeling, but now we’re talking about it) makes its way if a person tries to suppress it . There are three ways here. The first way. A person gets a mental disorder. For example, some kind of neurosis. The second way. A person finds a way to somehow socially place aggression. I described just such things above. This is when there are hints, sarcastic jokes, “accidental” damage to things, and so on. The name of all this is indirect aggression. The third way. Somatization (bodily illnesses). As you probably already guessed, there are almost no “pure” manifestations of each path. Most often, all three are present in different proportions. That is, often a person is sick with chronic diseases, suffers from some kind of anxiety disorder, for example, and gradually takes out his anger on loved ones. What are the manifestations of each of them? When there is more than the first, a person demonstrates the corresponding symptoms, but may not suffer from somatic diseases and does not particularly bother people, for example - for this he has enough control. When it is more than the second, a person again may not get sick and have no symptoms of disorders. But communicating with him is very, very unpleasant. Rather, even unbearable. When there is more than three, the person here is “meek as a lamb,” very “positive,” sympathetic, perhaps, and so on. But at the same time, his body is simply in trouble: pancreatitis, cholecystitis, otitis media, pyelonephritis, gastrodenitis... Yes, that’s how many words I know that start with “-itis”. And all of them, of course, are chronic - it’s impossible to cure them because... And why it can’t be cured – you can probably already guess. Anger is the energy that our body produces in order to satisfy our needs. This is not something negative that needs to be thrown away, as I periodically see in the statements of some people. “What is your evidence? (c),” someone might ask me. Well, if you need links to authoritative sources, I will refer to the book “Ego, Hunger and Aggression” by Perls. Absolutely wonderful work, in my opinion. "Anger? I get along just fine without her!” – if you hear a similar phrase from someone, my advice to you is: get away from this person as soon as possible. Because inside him sits a thermonuclear charge of suppressed malice, which has long turned into rage and hatred. It will not explode in full force if it is not provoked, perhaps just a little bit at all, bleeding off excess potential, but even with your most careful and sensitive handling of it, at least with its “radioactive radiation” it will greatly spoil your mood. Sometimes simple is enough.