Gratitude, as it is, is a natural response to caring, a responsive movement of the heart. There is no doubt - is it necessary, can I, should I - it’s like inhaling and exhaling, the answer rises inside, like a smile or a desire to hug in response to the smile of a loved one who has opened his arms for a hug. One of the main elements of affection is care ( along with structure, challenge and involvement) that reflects the most touching side of expressions of...hmm...love? Caring is about the visible manifestation of attention to another through thoughts, feelings, actions, words that help another feel valued, important and significant. And when this feeling arises, a spontaneous response is born. And by the manifestation of this response, one can assume about the self-perception of an adult, about his patterns of attachment. And the answer can be different: “oh, is this all for me? How great, I’m so glad!”, “what was that? No, this can’t be , it seemed,” “why is he doing this? What does he want from me?”, “this is too much, why is she trying so hard and spending so much?”, “why is it so little? Give me more and more,” “give me everything you have.” there is you,” “I don’t need anything from you,” “what happened? I didn’t notice anything special,” “I’m not worthy,” “it’s too expensive,” “I’m underestimated,” and so on. Such a response to the manifestation of care shows vulnerabilities that will affect the relationship, involving the partner in a symmetrical dance. And so the other one stops showing concern, although he could and would like to, or, conversely, falls into the unsatisfied funnel of the other’s needs... Yes, couples therapy helps to recognize these patterns, explore them and transform them in the preferred way for the couple. This is about relationships between adults. But attachment patterns are formed in early childhood, and right now parents have the opportunity to give their children different relationship experiences, even while being wounded themselves. Theraplay, a therapy aimed at strengthening fairly secure attachment in a dyad, has such tools. Today I remembered stories about my children, about gratitude. I remembered how little Ian sat next to me and ate from his own plate, because he was “big.” Then, suddenly, he climbed into my arms and clearly asked me to feed him. After two spoons, he suddenly looked at me intently, stroked my cheek with his hand and kissed me. This was his gratitude)) I remembered how little Ksyu was sitting and playing, and I unexpectedly found a chocolate bar in the supplies, decided to treat the children, and put a piece in each of their mouths. Everyone was happy and smiled. And Ksyu was especially happy, she suddenly ran up to me, hugged me tightly, rubbed her cheek, and ran off to continue playing. I remembered how Lyova walked from room to room, then stopped, clearly thinking about something, then smiled, came up to me, and said, as he loves, and moved on. I don’t know what he was thinking there, but for something he was grateful to me)) I remembered how the giant Neil, who was all so anxious and doubtful, in response to my offer to play and a little game, went limp, relaxed, pressed against me (we were sitting in a chair) and very touchingly rubbed his cheek on my shoulder. These are all the situations of the last weeks, and there are many, many of them. But for some reason we only notice mischief, pranks, stupidity and disobedience. I suggest shifting the focus to other “little things” - to caring for each other and to noticing this gratitude. Smile and notice that it is there, sincere, pure, free from stereotypes, irrational ideas, painful interpretations. These are manifestations of love ))