From the author: This is an article about how we deal with ourselves in difficult periods of life. When things don't go well in life, depression sets in, men tend to resort to a proven method of treatment - alcohol. The state of consciousness changes, pain and negative emotions either dull or appear less acute. For some, the evening is enough to drown out the feelings, or develop them to the extreme, after which relief usually comes. Some people need to alcoholize for a week, others more. To wake up one day, wash your face, and continue existing, as if rebooted. I can’t say that this method is ideal and environmentally friendly, but it is certainly popular. Many women also do this sometimes, but less often. Most often, ladies resort to gluttony (saturation with serotonin, the “happiness hormone”), which brings some relief, but the consciousness continues to function in the usual way. Or maybe unconscious. That is, the problem is not fully realized, and this is expressed in insomnia, anxiety, poor health, etc. But there is a more cunning way to cope with pain. Fall into illness. The temperature rises, the body aches, it is difficult to get up, and there is an official and justified reason for suffering. Not every situation is “convenient” to experience openly. In some cases, it is difficult to allow yourself to “lose yourself”; you need to create the appearance that everything is fine. In this case, an unexpected illness comes in very handy. Firstly, it changes consciousness (not like alcohol, but still), and secondly, mental suffering is not so acutely felt, against the background of physiological malaise. Of course, we cannot consciously do this to ourselves, but our psyche has much more powers than we can imagine. She protects us (choosing methods at her own discretion), and contacts us most often through the body: “Don’t pretend that you feel good, it wears out a lot. If you feel bad, then lie down and don’t get up, that’s your temperature. And what to drink, I suggest a half-fainting, delirious state of health." "Can't stomach this man? Here are some stomach problems for you. Think about who you use and how it affects you." "Are you taking on more than you can handle? Here's a sore neck or back for you. Don't you want to listen to yourself? Get it all together, is it clearer?” “Are you angry? Is all this already sitting in your liver? Here are your liver problems.” And so on. If you don’t want to take care of yourself, your psyche will “take care” of you. In order to avoid this, of course, it is best to contact a psychologist who will help you extract and work through your experiences. Thanks to the outside view of a professional, there is a chance to see the usual errors of thinking and perception. Convenient errors. You can do it yourself, too, but it’s more difficult. As a rule, unfinished situations wear out the most. Moreover, incompleteness may be not so much in the situation itself as in the attitude towards it. It’s important to figure it out here, ask yourself questions: What, in fact, is the main problem? What do I want? Why? How long do I need to get over it? And most importantly, remember that our condition is how we treat ourselves. Not a single person has such power to take me and make me sick. It all depends on your own perception and attitude to the situation. Therefore, the problem should be looked for not outside, but within yourself. And based on this: 1. Define your boundaries more clearly (what others do is their responsibility, my responsibility is how I perceive it);2. Be aware of what prevents the completion of the situation (identify a figure and complete it); 3. Don’t expect that the problem will resolve itself, or that someone will take care of you; if you take care, it’s good, but it’s better to rely on yourself, and have alternative options for resolving the situation up your sleeve..