As a family psychologist, therapist, I often encounter these questions in my practice. Dear girls and women, the world is our mirror of the soul. We broadcast to the world, automatically, unconsciously, our “internal program”, the attitudes by which we live, our attitude towards ourselves. We go out searching, on dating sites, or randomly choose from among many someone who will pass the primary, “automatic selection” that our body and psyche perform. Then, in adults, awareness is already involved, thinking about the partner, possible relationships with him. Yes, that's how we are built. It happens that awareness is not turned on, the decision is made thoughtlessly, and then the person continues a relationship that does not satisfy him and has difficulty getting out of it. When you are looking for a life partner, do you have a good idea of ​​what you expect from the man you want to see next to you? How should your relationship look and live, how much does the partner you choose or choose correspond to these ideas and does it correspond at all? The choice of a partner and the building of relationships are directly influenced by our ideas about the family, how we see the role of a man in the family. These ideas often develop in childhood. Is it possible to immediately meet a person, as if drawing a ticket, winning a lottery, so that this man from the date of acquaintance to the date of the last day of life together never “mess up” or quarrel with you? So that everything would be “like in a fairy tale”, “purple”? No, that doesn’t happen. All are living, changing people, and each person has his own way of relationships, has his own needs, goals, decisions, characteristics, qualities. When you and your partner do not agree on any opinion, this will always lead to confrontation, and then the question is whether your conflict will be constructive or not. Do you know how to hear and listen to a person, his needs, to understand somewhere, to accept certain traits? Ask yourself these questions. When a couple gets to know each other, starts a relationship, this is a great time to get to know each other better, to study, understand, feel, probe, “give instructions from each other” and decide whether you go further in life with him or not ! There is no need to “play games” by pretending to be someone you really are not. Making mistakes is a normal part of our lives. Unlucky, you haven’t met your person, you move on in search of your happiness. Here are small, universal recommendations for this search. Analysis of your family in which you grew up. The figures of father, mother, their relationships, how do you see them? Would you like the same family for yourself and your children? What would you accept, what would you change? What feelings do you experience when remembering this? Analysis of your former and current relationships. Figures of your partners. Who attracts the most, who repels, what exactly? What you got in the relationship, what you didn’t get, the pros and cons. Which of the minuses is less significant for you, and which is not at all compatible with you? How do you treat yourself, accept, respect, love, do you consider yourself attractive? What kind of relationship do you want for yourself? Write a story about it. Let it eventually turn into a goal that you will visualize in your dreams, specific, measurable, achievable, clear, with a plan of how and what you will do in order to achieve this goal. Having been in a relationship for more than 20 years and working with couples, families, I can say one thing... Building harmonious relationships on trust, mutual understanding and love is a job for two, the work of a researcher, an observer, the practice of emotional self-regulation, adaptation and acceptance of another person and his qualities, since one is loved, close, but another man. He has his own dreams, goals, needs. He is a man who is also looking for happiness in life. You can build and share your happiness together! This does not mean at all that a person needs to be trained; without the desire of the person himself to change, nothing will work. There are those moments, traits, qualities that may be incompatible with you and here you need to accept=474402