I'm not a robot

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I'm not a robot

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Privacy - Terms

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This article was born thanks to my husband’s son, and, of course, cases from practice. The son often asks about the behavior of a man and a woman, about the actions of a man and a woman, analyzes what was said and makes another verdict: “Help me become a Man” and adds “Please.” It is from us, from the parents, that the boy will become a real man. Of course, education is not enough. The example of a father, observation of behavior and actions is important. I won’t say that it’s easy, but you will enjoy the result of upbringing, and you will be proud of your son. I will briefly outline what I did and continue to do so that my son grows up confident and successful.1. I do not allow my son to speak to his father in a disrespectful tone. Father is father! And he gave life! Provides security and safety. It is forbidden to undermine the authority of the father! In cases where you have to make a decision without your father, show respect for him, even in his absence you should not say: “Dad cannot make a decision...”, or something like that.2. I invite friends to visit, and I draw my son’s attention to a man who respects a woman, apparently even in the smallest things. This man also respects himself.3. I talk to my son like an adult. I understand that he is 13 years old. And he has a different experience; he hasn’t lived much yet. He likes to communicate with me, he listens, thinks. And it works.4. I make to-do lists. This is an important point. I used to spend more time making a to-do list. The boy has already developed the skill of walking around the house like a housewife, checking if the cats have food, water, etc. Now he knows what to do. We live in a house, and he cleans the paths and areas for cars on his own. Clears the porch of snow. If there is no firewood in the house, he will bring it. He will light the stove. He will call and ask if I need to cook dinner?! Of course, there was a lot of my contribution, - I asked my father to set aside time for joint activities with his son and the father taught him to hold a shovel, a hammer, start a car, chop wood and much more. We discussed this list. She explained why lists are written. Helped.5. Every year I teach and assign as many self-care tasks as possible. The boy cleans his room on his own. Changes his own bed linen. Knows how to use a washing machine and dishwasher. Cleans his shoes. Making breakfast is easy. There were situations when I asked: “How much time should I give you, for example, to clean your shoes, or do you like it when a man walks around in a dirty shirt?” Many mothers talk about an easier way. Of course, it’s easier to say: “Take off your shirt, it’s dirty,” so I write: the path of raising a man is not easy, it is exciting, creative, and rewarding. A man must be able to do everything, including take care of himself.6. I'm asking about time allocation. There were moments when the boy couldn’t understand what it was all for, but he understood. Now he knows where and how much time he spends on this or that matter. The son will clearly answer how many minutes it takes to get to the stop, how many minutes it will take for lunch, etc. Be sure to teach the value of time. A real man is not late. And if the unexpected happens, he calls to warn.7. I teach how to use transport. A few years ago, a boy was scared to go to the bus stop and pay the fare himself, asking the driver to stop the bus. Since the school is 7 km away, and it is in another village, there is no way to get by without the ability to travel by bus. We trained, he was the driver, and I was the passenger, and then vice versa. And so on several times. The boy was proud of his first independent trip. Taught classmates. Last year I came on my own from St. Petersburg. I met him at the station in Moscow. Independence and responsibility for one’s behavior are formed.7. There is a system of rewards and punishments. There are currently no penalties. What is this system for? So that boys learn to be responsible for their words and actions.8. I stop disrespectful remarks. I explain: “Judge not and you will not be judged.” I say: “First, analyze, a person does not act simply.

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