Listening to someone is a lost art, one that people neglect in their quest to think about their own experiences. Think about how often you listen to others in your daily life? How often do you have the feeling that your interlocutor really hears you and understands you? And we very often lack this. What can we say about a person who has suffered a loss, is experiencing pain or personal tragedy? He needs this. In all cases, when a person is upset, offended, failed, when he is hurt, ashamed, scared, when he was treated rudely or unfairly, when he is angry at the whole world and at himself, the first thing to do is - this is to let him know that you know about his experience (state), “hear” him. But often the interlocutor, wanting to bring comfort, feels that he is standing helplessly, not knowing what to do or say. A person in such a state often does not give a clear signal about what he (she) wants from the interlocutor. Does he want to talk or be alone? Does he want to express anger or suppress it? Often the person himself in such a case does not know this. And the potential helper is confused, embarrassed or depressed. But if he had a clearer understanding that he could help, and knew exactly how to do it, then he probably would not be paralyzed at the very moment when he is most needed. So what does a helper need to know? If you are trying to help a person, then the most important thing is your desire to listen to him. Also, you need to know that as a helper you are not supposed to handle things (solve problems) for people. In other words, you don’t have to find the right answer, and expressions such as “Maybe it’s better this way”, “Be courageous for the sake of the children”, or “Cry”, “No need to cry” generally sound cruel, flat and inappropriate. Individuals need help finding their own answers and solutions, and ultimately only their own answers are relevant and relevant. You need to know that a person’s understanding of the meaning of what happened corrects itself if he is given the opportunity to make such a correction. Good listening contributes to good conversation, in which a person understands what things mean to him and gives them new meaning. Communication built on the basis of these principles is called the skill of active listening. Actively listening to a person means “returning” to him in a conversation what he told you, while indicating his feeling. A conversation using the method of active listening shows that the interlocutor understands the internal the situation of the victim, and he is ready to hear more about it, to accept it. This method emerged as a communication technology as a result of analyzing the behavior of people who have the ability to achieve the desired results from their interlocutor during a conversation. In communication, they adhere to the principles of “good listening” that we have already discussed; Let's repeat them: attention is concentrated on the interlocutor (observation of changes in the sound intonations of the voice, facial expressions, gestures, posture); the interlocutor must see and feel that he is understood; To do this, you can repeat in your own words what you heard or convey the meaning of what was said; you should not evaluate the statements, actions, thoughts of your interlocutor; you should not give advice to your interlocutor. Very soon it became clear that this method makes it possible to help people who are experiencing psychological difficulties. A person, realizing that he is being listened to, opens up his feelings when telling a story, at the same time beginning to realize his difficulties and moving towards their resolution. Active listening technology requires compliance with several simple rules, and also includes five basic techniques, which are based on the principles of “good listening.” Let's look at the rules first. While listening to your interlocutor, you need to turn to face him. It is important that his eyes and yours are at the same level. These are the very first and strongest signals about your readiness to listen and hear. In addition, you should try to ask as few questions as possible; it is desirable that your answers.