To withstand your feelings, thoughts and reactions in a variety of life situations without devaluation, avoidance, over-adaptation, breakdowns and aggression, giving yourself support and analyzing what can be changed, looking for resources - the ability to be sustainable internal Adult ego state. How is this ability formed? Through examples in childhood, when a parent knows how to be close to you in a quality way: stable and empathetic during the child’s anger or tears, reliable when scared, sharing the child’s joy and mischief without drawing attention to himself. And even if in your childhood there was not enough reliable and involved adult, this does not mean that everything is lost now. Internal self-parenting is one of the important parts of psychological work, when a person’s experience was dominated by the pathologizing experience of interaction with parents or the environment. In this case, it is difficult to rely on the experience of childhood, where there is a trigger on a trigger, so the task is to gradually, consistently create a new way interaction with the most vulnerable parts of the Child ego state, activating and involving the adult part of the personality in participation. One of such exercises is the creation of an image of a Caring Adult within oneself and its practical integration into life. • Observation. First, observe the communication and interaction of other people. Examples here include people from your environment (partner, loved ones, friends, colleagues), characters from books, TV series, films, and just strangers whose communication you might have spied in line.• Specification. Highlight and write down those options for their behavior that responded to you internally as appropriate, caring, involved, sustainable, according to the “What?” principle. And How?". What was said (verbal part) and how it was done (non-verbal part). There is no need to take the whole person as a role model - focus on specific examples: this phrase / look / gesture responded to me with warmth and support in difficult times, but here in these words/strength of intonation/actions I saw an example of standing up for one’s interests.• Appropriation. First, alone with yourself or in a confidential space where you can be supported (a loved one, a psychologist, a therapeutic group), try a new way of communicating with yourself: mentally or out loud, say the written words, addressing them deep into yourself, listening to where and how they are perceived, responded .This is a much more difficult stage than it might seem - early pathological decisions “don’t exist”, “don’t be happy”, “don’t be a child”, “don’t achieve”, “don’t be close” can be updated here. In situations where early decisions so toxic that it blocks any development and appropriation, it makes sense to discuss this with your helping professional (a psychologist, a therapy group or a support group) to begin to unravel the internal process.• Strengthening the new experience. At the final stage, continue to gradually and daily adopt new strategies for communicating with yourself so that this process becomes easier and faster. Emphasize and master intonations, words, and actions that are appropriate for you, not only in a safe space, but also in everyday interactions with others. However, remember that it is normal to sometimes get lost and return to old strategies, because mistakes are a natural part of development and a sure indicator of that that you are a living person.• • • Similar notes:About the good. You Are Not AloneSelf-Worth"I feel... that?»