Take care of your children, do not scold them for pranks. The evil of your bad days Never take it out on them. Don't be seriously angry with them, Even if they have done something wrong, Nothing is more valuable than the tears that have rolled down from the eyelashes of your loved ones. If fatigue knocks you off your feet, you can’t cope with it, but your son will come up to you, or your daughter will stretch out her hands. Hug them tightly, cherish children's affection. This is happiness! a short moment, hurry up to be happy. After all, they will melt like snow in the spring, These golden days will flash by And your children will leave their native hearth as they grow up. Leafing through the album with photographs of childhood, Remember with sadness the past About those days when we were together. How will you want to come back again at this time, so that you can sing a song to them little ones, touch their cheeks with tender lips. And while there is children's laughter in the house, There is nowhere to escape from toys, You are the happiest in the world, Please take care of your childhood. Parents, do not raise your children! They will still be like you! Therefore, if you are not satisfied with your relationship with your children, change yourself, change the relationships in your family between adults, only then will change what you will emotionally or in the form of experience and relationship skills pass on to your loved ones children. At the same time, LOVE is an obligatory and key moment in relationships. (Not to be confused with the fact that you want to raise a child as a good person, smart, scientist, etc. The main thing is to give the child the opportunity to feel HAPPY). Think about the etymology of the word EDUCATION - Replenishment - replenishment of nutrition. This is something that only parents can give. From the moment a little man is born, all adults “know” what he needs, what is right for him. All his life, in different institutions and in social interactions, he will be taught what is “good” and “right” for him. And only his parents can simply love him; to love him as he is - not to want anything from him, not to correct him, nor to correct him, but simply to LOVE HIM and thereby teach him to love himself, and therefore to love the world and other people. And most importantly, through love for him, his parents teach him to love and accept himself, to feel confident, needed and significant in the world, which will undoubtedly lead him to feel HAPPY. This is the purpose of EDUCATION. If you analyze, systematize and generalize the theory and practice of psychotherapeutic work with children, you can summarize everything that has been said and draw one very simple, and most importantly, useful conclusion for practical use. After all, if you look into it - analyze, that is, put it into pieces, what is happening in your relationship with children, understand the reason for what is happening, then you can take control of any of your destructive (undesirable for yourself and your loved ones) emotions and understand the reason for such emotions of your loved ones. After all, if we understand something, it means we control it !In this case, any upbringing mistakes can be easily corrected and any worries calm down and find their constructive place. And miraculously, relationships between all its members improve in the family. And comes the realization of the feeling of a happy family life and the joy of parenthood! Reasons that contribute to the formation of neuroticism (hysteria, the occurrence of neuroses, fears that flow into phobias, anxiety, etc.) in a child: 1. There are too many restrictions. For one “Cannot”, there should be three “Can” - the ratio is impossible/possible = 1/3;2. Inconsistency with the requirements of significant (nurturing) adults. (Inconsistency of requirements for the child on the part of family members) - alternative education; 3. Increased demands on the child;4. Violation of consistent requirements for the child (it must be - if today is not possible, then tomorrow and the day after tomorrow is not possible);5. The systemic nature of upbringing is disrupted (upbringing must be streamlined. Upbringing – from the words – “replenishment” of “nutrition” (with the energy of love); 6. Strict dominance of one of the spouses - parents with a child; 7. Communication barrier between father and child (if there is father in the house), and alsolimiting the influence of the father in the process of upbringing (if there is no father in the family at all, a completely different system of relations, a different style of relations is built);8. Conflict in family relationships - disruption of interpersonal relationships between parents. Only FOUR reasons can be identified for “bad” behavior of children that does not suit parents: CHILDREN BEHAVIOR BADLY1. The desire to attract attention. (Little attention. Wants to attract attention);2. The desire to control. (Power over the situation, adults, peers);3. Revenge;4. Fear of failure. (Afraid that someone has it better, that they don’t love him, etc.) Having determined which of these four reasons your child behaves, pay more attention or support him in something and the child will regain joy and calmness. And in conclusion, I will give a few rules on HOW TO SCORD CHILDREN CORRECTLY, so as not to traumatize the psyche and not devalue the child’s personality.1. Criticize not the person as a whole (not the individual), but his specific actions; 2. Talk about your feelings about what you don't like;3. Show respect for the person, your faith that he can change, give credit of trust; 4. Avoid words and intonations that may offend a person;5. Don't order, but offer the person a choice. 1. The golden proportion of upbringing. It is difficult for a person to agree with criticism of himself if he does not have a firm belief that he is “generally good”, that he is needed and important for loved ones, that is, if the person’s basic psychological needs: safety, security and stability, love, a sense of belonging, self-esteem and respect from others. Satisfying these needs is as important for a child’s psyche as vitamins are for his body. Seals of approval are one means of accomplishing this serious task. These signs can be a kind look, a gentle touch, an attentive listening and, of course, verbal praise. The golden proportion of upbringing indicates the ratio of approval and criticism in addresses to the child. This is a “4: 1 proportion”: four marks of approval for each critical remark. In this case, the information contained in the critical statement will quite possibly be perceived by the child and used by him in its development.2. Separate criticism and feelings. Separate criticism and expression of your own feelings. Helpful criticism is always calm. If you experience irritation, resentment, anger, fear, anxiety, you will not be able to hide your feelings; they will definitely break through at the most inopportune moment. Therefore, during periods of “storm,” it is better to refuse criticism and leave it until better, “calmer” times.3. Calmly talk about your feelings about what you don't like.4. Benevolent criticism. Your criticism will be useful for the child if the comments indicate your love and respect for the child. Love and respect can be conveyed by soft intonation, a kind, attentive look, gentle words: “Daughter, listen...”, “Son, I want to tell you...” Avoid words and intonations that can offend a person.5. Criticism of actions. Useful criticism concerns the actions and actions of the child, but not his personality.6. Specific criticism. Helpful criticism includes your specific wishes. Tell your children specifically what exactly you don’t like about their actions, make sure they understand you.7. Creative criticism: Helpful criticism includes not only what you are not satisfied with, but also what you want from your child. Place an emotional emphasis on the second.8. Reasoned Criticism: Helpful criticism includes explanations of the benefits of desired behavior. If you tell a child, “Do this because I said so,” then this will be an order, not an explanation. The child will not be able to see the connection between his actions and the benefits they will bring. Don’t order, but offer the person a choice.9. Credit of trustShow respect for the person, your faith in what he!