Now you have turned away from each other and are silent, angry. You are certainly not the first to seek reconciliation. And I really want to turn around and hug you, but you have to keep your distance and make a dissatisfied grimace. Why is all this necessary? What will this give you? In a fit of anger, we completely forget about our true feelings, we seem to be engulfed in fire, our task is to hit our partner’s pain points as accurately as possible, not think about his feelings, and calmly “burn bridges.” And as soon as the heat of passion passes, we regret what we said and did. Oh, if only we could turn back time?! Unfortunately, we cannot get into a time machine and change the events of the past, but we can change our behavior in the future. How can you learn to manage your anger? As soon as you are about to express your dissatisfaction with your partner, start slowly counting to 10, inhaling and exhaling deeply, and gradually the former fervor will subside. If this is not enough for you, then try to imagine how you look from the outside: how you wave your arms, how your nostrils flare, how your face turns red, what shrill sounds you make. Think how ridiculous this looks. If this couldn’t stop you, then look at your partner as a small defenseless child who is looking at you with frightened eyes. Do you still have a desire to shout at him, to prove that you are right? If you couldn’t restrain yourself and are ready to speak out at any cost, then use “I-statements” and not You-statements. For example: “I get upset when I come home from work and see that there are a lot of unwashed dishes in the sink. I would like you to clean up your dishes.” In contrast to: “You are lazy, a slob!...” Do not counterbalance one offense with the many positive qualities that your partner undoubtedly has. You once chose him from many applicants. Don’t howl about the consequences of what you did and said. After all, as the Russian proverb says: “The word is not a sparrow - it flies out, you won’t catch it!” Ask yourself questions: “How will what I do and say affect the relationship in the future? What outcome do I want? Does this help improve relationships?” The main thing is to love, respect, value your family, and do not use them as an emotional release. Of course, you will throw out the negativity, they will forgive you, but the unpleasant aftertaste will remain and will corrode your relationship. And if you have offended your partner, then it is better to hurry - be the first to extend the hand of reconciliation.