Codependent relationships in families are a whole system, a well-oiled mechanism and configurations, each plays its usual role. Overprotection gives the feeling that the “parent is behind a stone wall”, everything is decided for the child, it is not servile Of course, you can even do what you want, they will look after you anyway. The main thing is to comply with the parental plan. Career, desired marriage, place of residence, profession. Skills are not developed because everything is decided for the child. If a mother is lonely, she will not let her son go. Psychologically, it is very convenient for a single parent to keep near him an object that replaces the figure of his spouse. There is no point in looking for a partner for a child; there is a mother who replaces these functions. If he does leave, the mother enters into competition with her daughter-in-law, instead of improving her life. The opposite situation is when the parents, on the contrary, are hyper-cold and the child has to use other behavior models in order to survive. To attract even a drop of attention, a child can endlessly try to earn the mythical calling of an adult. The secret is that this is a mirage in the desert; recognition will never come. If you reach the clouds in the sky they will tell you, ok, but why didn’t you conquer the universe? Or, if a child remains abandoned spiritually, outwardly everything may be the other way around, he is clothed and well-fed, then he chooses and goes into bad companies in order to be at least somehow noticed and recognized by someone. Codependent patterns are formed when adults drag children in into your relationship. They teach and convey messages: “Tell your father that if he behaves like this, we will leave.” Or they use the child as a peacemaker who stands in the middle of the conflict. Or they shift all responsibility for what is happening onto the child: “Because you don’t listen, you pushed your mother, she’s sick and we’re getting a divorce.” A person becomes confident that he is to blame for everything that happened around him. Thus, he then tries to control everything, although in fact it is not in his control zone. Guilt is a constant companion. If you notice codependent patterns in yourself, I invite you to a consultation https://www.b17.ru/za291182/If the article was useful, subscribe to the author and say “Thank you”".