There is not a single person who has not at least once asked himself, having reached a certain age: what have I done, what have I achieved, who have I become and what have I missed? This and is called a midlife crisis. And although it can occur at any age, most often it strikes people between the ages of 35 and 45 and can last indefinitely. How to save your life, not lose your loved ones, not expose your children to stress and take care. friends? We’ll talk about this today. How does this happen for men? No one can name the exact time when this very crisis comes to him, but a person has a strong feeling that life has changed and turned 180 degrees. Suddenly it hits. longing for past years, for unfulfilled dreams, unfulfilled desires, unfulfilled love and unfulfilled promises. And you want to run, run, run, catching up with the train rushing into the distance... And here it’s not just sensations, touches, feelings... but real “surprises” that life throws up. ...Arman turned 42. He has a whole life behind him - college, wife, two children, work in government agencies. However, the position of head of a small department no longer suits him. And my wife nags all the time. There is not enough money. My son needs to be married! The daughter is married, grandchildren will soon be born, what are you thinking about? All these questions are swarming in the head of the unfortunate Arman. And then his health makes itself felt: either his kidneys are acting up, or his heart! Friends joke: you should take a mistress, the illness will go away. Arman meets a young, by his standards, 30-year-old woman who has never been married. She loves him differently, giving him her love-starved soul without reserve. After all, she should also hurry: to give birth to a child, or better yet, two. It seems to Arman that youth has returned, and with it new strength has appeared, and minor, in his opinion, problems have faded into the background. And in general, life begins to seem better, brighter and lighter. Prospects at work loom ahead... And even if my wife and children need help, it will only be financial. He will master it... He can... He tries to justify himself by saying that his love with his wife ended a long time ago, but a firm conviction that he is right is not enough... But he has already launched the flywheel of a new life, his mistress is expecting a child from him... There are five reasons for this: The midlife crisis in men classically begins after 40. But this age can be moved in one direction or another. Depends on how early the man started working or started a family. The sooner, the faster the crisis comes. It is important for a man at this age to already have some experience of experiences, mistakes and falls, so that he has something to work with, worry about, and reconsider values ​​and guidelines. And if he is infantile, if there is nothing behind his soul except minor experiences, then it will be more difficult to get out of the crisis. I will name five reasons why a man may experience a midlife crisis. As a rule, at the age of 40-45, a man, during -firstly, libido drops sharply, as the amount of testosterone changes and sexual desire disappears. And since a man experiences a fiasco on this front, he experiences psycho-emotional pressure and thinks: why then actually live? But this most often concerns men, whose pleasures extended between two components - eating deliciously and “sleeping sweetly” - that is, having sex. If a man is at a higher cultural and emotional level, he will be able to sublimate - transfer his unrealized sexual desires into a creative channel. If he is a leader, then he can throw himself into his work; if he is rich, then having received a high rank he can be content with that, but if he is poor? Often such people either climb into a bottle or into a noose...Secondly, by this age, most often, he already has a family, the children are growing up: they either go away to study, or get married. This symptom is called "empty nest." What he and his wife lived for, worked for, dreamed of, is achieved or abruptly leaves his life. It's good if there isa small child, and if not? Thirdly, it may happen that a man at this age has no stake, no yard, a lot of debts, a mortgage, a small salary, that is, he has not been realized in life. This is called a goal crisis. Fourthly, everything can be exactly the opposite: home, family, work, money - it’s all there, where to strive next? This is called a crisis of lack of purpose. Fifthly, a man begins to feel that he is getting old: his body, from excessive consumption of beer and other strong drinks, becomes flabby, not as attractive as before, women stop paying attention to him, and his wife no longer he wants him that way... It happens that a man is overtaken by several of these reasons at once, and in the end it ends with either a heart attack or a stroke... Because either the man does not allow himself to cry and complain, or he thinks a lot about it... A more radical escape from problems is also possible - suicide . There is another way out, at first glance, optimistic, but sometimes it can also not end very well. This is what they call a devil in the ribs when a man goes to great lengths: takes a young mistress, drinks, goes on a spree, uses Viagra, and as a result, most of these men after 40-45 years old are found at five in the morning, dead in bed... Because alcohol , Viagra and excessive sex at this age greatly affect the heart. How does this happen in women? Ainur – 35 years old. She is not married. At first she built a career, studied, then plunged headlong into business; if men appeared in her life, they did not stay long: well, who could be next to a commander in a skirt, and, moreover, at the age of over 30? That's how my youth passed. And, despite the fact that Ainur has a nice apartment in a new building, a brand new car, a bank account, and a bunch of successful friends with whom she’s even going on reconnaissance right now, she doesn’t have a family where she would happily return every evening... It seems to her that life has reached a dead end from which there is no way out. After all, the further, the worse: and the years do not stand still, now she is already beginning to feel that she is no longer so cheerful in the morning, that her sexuality leaves much to be desired, and she has not had a permanent partner for a long time, and sleeps with just anyone somehow inappropriate for her age. Nerves are also beginning to fray: at work, her subordinates suffered from her unstable nature, although they had not experienced any special problems in business for a long time. Everything works and because the mechanism is wound up... Ainur even understood the meaning of the words that she often heard from her richer friends: happiness doesn’t come from money... she now had more than enough money, but it didn’t add to her happiness. Midlife crisis in women 40 years old, it most often develops if she has not given birth, there is no man nearby, she began to realize that she was fading (the first gray hair appeared, wrinkles, breasts are no longer the same, and cellulite makes itself felt), add to this the lack of fulfillment in the profession or vice versa, complete fulfillment, but at the same time boredom in life... The midlife crisis in women sometimes begins much earlier. The whole point is that in our country, the upbringing of girls, girls, is carried out according to the male type. And yes, by male standards, if by the age of 40-45 you have not achieved a certain status in life, have not found a family, have not succeeded in business or career, then you are a loser. A woman also begins to think this way, although everything is different for her... Often a crisis in women can begin immediately after 30, especially if she has no family and children... A woman is given a longer term: firstly, because she is emotionally more stable, It’s easier for her to find a job, and besides, according to statistics, it is after 40-45 years that a woman can realize herself...Create goals, solve problems...In my opinion, if you have serious difficulties with your midlife crisis and you are not able to to solve them, then it is necessary to seek the help of professional psychologists and psychotherapists. If a man or woman is deprived of goals, we can come up with these goals for them, if they have sexual problems, then this is again a question for a sexologist... However, according to statistics, more often