Jewish wisdom. If a problem can be solved for money, it’s not a problem. These are expenses. In place of mom in the title of the article, you can put any other creature close to you: any parent, partner, child, friend, boss, neighbor, friend, subscribers on social networks. The essence will not change: Each person creates stress for himself! The exception is physical stressors, which sometimes happen. For example, there are earthquakes, floods, violence, road accidents happen, bricks fall on your head. There is no point in arguing here. But what percentage does physical stress make up of all stress? In the worst case – a few percent. The lion's share of stress falls on the brilliant part of your body - your brain. Therefore, today I propose to concentrate on the stressors that live inside you. And I’ll clarify right away. The phrase “you are creating stress for yourself” does not mean that you are to blame for anything. Or that you are some kind of wrong, abnormal or weak person. Internal stress is a phenomenon that is born due to errors in your perception. The mechanism of stress formation. You always perceive current events in a certain way. Namely, you evaluate events according to some internal scales. For example, an extraordinary event can be perceived as: Notable - Significant - Important - Grandiose - Defining me and my life An event on my path can be perceived as: Obstacle - Difficulty - Wall - Dead end - Deadlock A negative statement in my direction can be perceived as: Opinion - Reproach - Criticism - Blame - Boycott - Rejection I can perceive the negative behavior of another person as: Inconvenient - disrespectful - wrong - unacceptable - absolutely unacceptable I can perceive my own damage as: Difficulty - Problem - Loss - Irreparable loss - threat - disaster I can perceive the degree of obligation in situations like: I can - I want - I should - I need - I must - I must That is, in every single tense situation you automatically label the situation. Most often an unconscious label. Which automatically means connecting certain emotions and a certain reaction. For example: Difficulty = irritation or interest, looking for a way out. Catastrophe – fear, I grab my head and run like I’m stung. Uncomfortable behavior = irritation, isolation (maximum hostility), I offer options for behavior that would smooth out the situation. Categorically unacceptable behavior = indignation, anger, breathing fire. Negative statement in my direction = alertness, interest, I suggest you explain. Rejection of me = shame, powerlessness, anger; I close myself in and suffer or fight until the last drop of blood. Pay attention. The skill looks quite banal on the surface. But in practice it is more than complicated, since it assumes that you: - have fairly advanced abilities for reflection (tracking your emotions, thoughts, desires) - are capable of focusing - that is, breaking reactive behavior (in the style of “I’m hurt - I’m biting” ") - you know the most effective perception filters. Now an important nuance. Your choice of assessment determines not so much what you observe as your habits, needs and internal attitudes. I will give examples. If you have been actively and strictly taught responsibility since childhood, then you will gravitate towards being responsible and obligated in any situation. If you have received a lot of blame and ridicule from your peers (at school or university), then you will tend to perceive many current situations under the sauce of censure and rejection (of you). If your life is not safe, then you can perceive any extraordinary (unusual) event as important or decisive. As a result, you perceive the world much more intensely than you can. Another important nuance. Unlike your personality, your growth, or your needs, you can CHANGE your perceptions. Everything you need: