I want to add fuel to the eternal debate - is the victim to blame for being a victim? First, I’ll explain why I suddenly wanted to get involved in this dispute. I read an article with approximately the following content - let them go to... all those psychologists who say that the victim herself is to blame for the fact that she is conditionally “hit in the face”, because in fact she is not to blame for anything, but simply by pure chance she ended up with such a “bad man” who constantly mocks her, tortures and beats her. Well, since I don’t really want to go to ... I decided to express my opinion on this issue.) Dear unfortunate girls who are beaten, you must understand that if in a third marriage they hit you in the face, then it’s probably in the face, as it were It didn't sound cruel. But seriously speaking, it’s all about your so-called “picture of the world.” If this picture (and not necessarily in bright colors) depicts exactly this type of relationship, or at least it exists as a possible acceptable option, then it can easily manifest itself in your life. And this mechanism works very clearly - what your inner man consists of (in Jung’s language, your “animus”) is what you get in external reality. I don’t discover any America - what’s inside is what’s outside - the people next to us are just our mirrors, attracted to our internal images. It’s like two and two – a man allows himself to humiliate you, beat you, cheat on you, drink, etc. and he is still next to you?... So this is at least ACCEPTABLE in your “picture of the world”, because some internal mechanisms responsible for self-respect and safety are broken. A woman with a healthy sense of self-preservation will run away from such a man at the first sign of such behavior towards her. I don’t want to say at all that the victims of violence themselves are to blame for being treated this way, but the fact that the reason for this situation lies within themselves is unambiguous! And without drastic internal changes, the victim’s behavior, alas, will become their only life scenario. Where do such scenarios come from? As usual, everything comes from childhood. It’s no secret - in families of hereditary alcoholics, this symptom (in the sense of alcoholism) is passed from hand to hand like a “grandmother’s ring.” I have seen many genograms, where for many generations there is an “alk” mark next to every man in the family. And after all, next to each of them there was a woman who, from her mother, grandmother and many women of their kind, learned to somehow live with this... and, moreover, chose (or created) the same husband for herself... because inside her with birth, exactly this “picture of the world” was installed. With victims, everything is approximately the same - this is either a familiar family model, or the result of an upbringing in which the child has lost the most important and basic instinct - self-preservation. What to do? First of all, realize that without internal transformation, escaping from a tyrant will lead to a new tyrant. The escape must be accomplished within - the victim must turn into a hero capable of repelling his tyrant. Then the tyrant may no longer be so terrible, and the “picture of the world” may change, and the life script will be easily rewritten. I understand that it is difficult... I understand that the victim, as a rule, has no resources at all... But if you take this into account as in a battle - either you, or you (and this is often exactly the case) - I think that the motivation to win will increase, and the resources that have been suppressed for a long time by fear will suddenly open up. Well, I wish all the “victims” victory in this uphill battle!