As an illustration of the theme of this article, I want to give the story of Jennifer Gray, an iconic Hollywood actress. When I first read about Jennifer, her story simply amazed me. In a few paragraphs of this article, I will try to convey the essence of how the desire for ideal can play a cruel joke. So, Jennifer grew up in a creative family, her mother is a famous singer, her father is a Broadway star, her grandfather is a famous comedian and musician. All family members were distinguished by talent and peculiar appearance. It was precisely this originality and non-compliance with generally accepted standards of beauty that haunted young Jennifer. Jennifer began acting since childhood, her career can be called successful, successful, dizzying, she achieved everything that could be wished for. She received the main role in the cult film “ Dirty Dancing,” which grossed three hundred million dollars on a budget of six, gained fame as one of the most sought-after actresses and became an icon of an entire generation. Everyone liked the image of a “funny girl,” daring and sweet. She enjoyed constant success with men, many Hollywood stars were among her fans. Jennifer had everything except, as it seemed to her, beauty, that standard beauty, according to the canons of which girls were not chosen movies, and on the front pages of magazines. And she decided to do what medicine offers, plastic surgery, changed her nose, lips, removed small wrinkles around her eyes, and gave herself an “ideal face.” But the problem is that, having acquired glossy beauty, she lost her uniqueness, and with it everything that was acquired thanks to talent and non-standard appearance. Friends did not recognize her, producers refused to work together, contracts were broken, fans disappeared. in a few lines of this article it is difficult to convey the feelings of a person who soared so high and lost it for her own money and of her own free will. True, in the end, she found herself in the family, she had a husband and daughter, but her former glory never returned. And this point seems to me no less important: a person capable of success and striving for happiness will achieve it in any conditions and under any circumstances. But now I want to return specifically to the issue of appearance and the desire for the ideal. The paradox is that “ “being liked” and “being ideal” are completely different things. In psychological work with people who underestimate their appearance, I use the following technique: I suggest imagining the image of an ideal person. So now I suggest you put the article aside for a second and imagine the ideal man and woman. Imagine how they look, how they dress, how they behave, how they answer your questions, and, finally, how they look at you? Do you want to communicate closely with them, be friends, love, work? I think not! Because the ideal is something distant, unattainable, and sometimes even annoying. We are attracted not by ideal people, but by pleasant, charming and charismatic heroes. When you create your new image in your imagination, and, having saved up a certain amount of money, go to a plastic surgeon, cosmetologist, nutritionist, or simply experiment at home, surrounded by magazines and specialized literature, try not to go too far and not lose your individuality. Glossy - bland images do not are always appropriate, it’s boring and uninteresting. There must be some kind of irregularity, zest, spice in the image, only then the image takes shape and lives, only then do you want to communicate with this person, and not flip through it like the page of a fashion magazine. Zest and spice must be present not only in appearance, but also in the inner content of a person. When I studied at the institute, our psychiatry was led by an amazing woman, she once said, addressing the female half of the group: girls, if you are almost hysterical (in everyday sense of this concept), cultivate this in yourself, otherwise men will not love you. Allow yourself to be sometimes rough, wrong, unpositive, and!