Gestalt therapy with families and couplesIn contrast to the systemic family therapist, who talks sequentially with each family member, the family gestalt therapist invites family members to communicate with each other in his presence about what they care. At the same time, the Gestalt therapist observes the process. And notes the qualities of contact between family members. Where the contact is good, where there are interruptions, where family members do not seem to hear or notice each other. What does this family lack to understand each other, establish contact, mutual understanding. Thus, there are several areas of work with couples in the Gestalt approach: 1. Strengths and weaknesses of the couple. One of the first interventions of the Gestalt therapist (after meeting and talking about the rules of therapy, anonymity, confidentiality) is to tell them about the results of his observation of their couple. First about the strengths of their interaction, then about the weaknesses. This feedback is already therapeutic.2. Curvature of polarities in a couple. At first, a polarity that the person himself does not possess can be very attractive. Then, over time, as if transferred to another, one’s own missing quality depreciates. Carl Whitaker identifies 8 pairs of polarities: Merger - isolation Reason - intuition Role - personality Control - impulse Social - personal Love - hate Madness - cunning Stability - change The task of a Gestalt therapist is to work with curved polarities. Then the quality in a partner that a person rejects in himself will not be so annoying. This is useful for both the personal development of each person and the couple. A psychologist can describe how he sees the distribution of polarities in a couple and discuss this with the couple. You can suggest experiments (switch places, switch roles). 3. Change of processes of “merger” and “differentiation” in a couple. They often come to a family therapist in the “differentiation” phase. And then the task of the psychologist is to support the processes of “merger”, the search for “common ground”. You can ask your clients questions - what do you have in common? How are you similar? How did you meet? Tell us about your first kiss? About the marriage proposal? If, on the contrary, the couple is merging, it is important to support the individuality of each. What do you like? What do you think about this? How do you feel? What do you feel? Etc. Margarita Spagnolo Lobb identified 3 criteria for the normal functioning of a couple: 1. The ability to see another as an “other”;2. The ability to see the difference between the contact desire of another and one’s own reaction of pain or anger in response; 3. The ability to trust relationships and change for another, as opposed to the blinding desire to do something with another to heal one's own old wounds. Anger from the point of view of the Gestalt approach can be contact and destructive. Destructive anger is caused by the past (childhood or previous relationships), it comes from pain due to past traumas and it overshadows the partner, does not allow him to understand and build contact with him. Contact anger arises here and now, it is aimed at becoming closer to a partner and experiencing catharsis. The therapist stops destructive actions and, if necessary, conducts individual mini-sessions with partners. It is important to find a good way to express anger that is not destructive to the relationship. And it will be additional fuel for love. I invite families and couples to psychological consultations to improve mutual understanding and increase satisfaction with relationships. Recording in WhatsApp messages +79110250364