The first story. L. is a sweet, modest girl with a quiet, even voice. Married. She and her husband love each other. But one day he told her: “You know, something wrong is happening: I’m starting to be afraid of you, like a child of a mother who can put you in a corner, I have a constant feeling of anxiety, like a guilty schoolboy, as if I didn’t do something or did something.” It’s not that and it’s not like that. But the feeling of a mischievous child is no longer a feeling for the woman you love.” And she realized that she had to manage the house: “Do this, you did it wrong, why didn’t you do it...” This becomes the background of their relationship, and she puts a lot of negative emotions into it. The role of a foreman makes her domineering, which is completely alien to her nature and unattractive to her and her husband. The little things in life and everyday life are crowding out something very important in their relationship. A woman’s power kills love, and the “will to power” must be fought in order to maintain the harmony of marital relationships: advice and love. Instead of an administrative tone - advice, a general decision - in the name of love. Here you have to work hard, be attentive to yourself. Otherwise, it’s easy to turn into a “grumpy woman.” Another story. A young couple came for a consultation. Both are very good, nice and beautiful people, but they are tense and angry towards each other. She was indignant at his selfishness, at the fact that he “didn’t appreciate” her. She was confident in her beauty and did not even know that he was also handsome; she did not doubt her intelligence and strong character, denying him these virtues. What was his selfishness expressed in? For example, on her birthday, he talked with a friend on the phone for an hour about his scientific affairs, and this infuriated her. Why did he behave so badly? In the conversation, it turned out that shortly before this, the husband refused graduate school, from working on his favorite topic, in order to apply for a well-paid position. This was his sacrifice for the sake of his family - his wife insisted on it. But the sacrifice turned out to be too much for him: he felt an irresistible irritation and a feeling of dissatisfaction with his new job. A conversation with a former classmate was an outlet for him. Lately he has become cold, indifferent to her, and she has no sense of reliability: sooner or later their relationship will fall apart anyway, she believes. He also had strong doubts that they would be able to create a good family. He considers her an unsurpassed beauty, and himself unworthy of her: but she herself has repeatedly emphasized this... The true reason for this marital conflict was revealed when answering questions. So to the question: “What qualities would you like to see in your husband?” - she answered: “I want him to be a real man.” And to the question: “Do you think that your husband has the right to his opinion?” - she replied: “No, he must agree with me.” To the question: “Do you respect your husband’s creative interests and inclinations?” - she answered: “Yes,” but this answer was far from her real actions. The interlocutor is a school teacher; This job, unfortunately, lends itself to domineering behavior. But it also presupposes a tendency and ability to understand and be sensitive in relationships with people. The attention of the young teacher was drawn to this, inviting her to treat the current situation as a pedagogical one. The proposal was accepted and caused excitement and interest. She discovered the main contradiction in her attitude towards her husband: the desire to see him as a real man and her suppressive, dominant behavior. She kills his self-esteem, does not see his positive qualities, and “brings up” slavish obedience in him. And the fact that this causes his negative reactions and opposition speaks of a courageous nature that cannot manifest itself. For your husband to be a “real man”, you need to become a “real woman” yourself. In a conversation with the husband, it was necessary to affirm his dignity and the need to continue, as far as possible, scientific work, not to follow his wife’s lead, but to “gently but firmly” become the head of the family. Both were glad to realize their family roles and faithful.