➡️Give yourself the right to evaluate yourself, to “reconsider” the assessments of other people from the past. We learn how we look at ourselves and our achievements in childhood and adolescence. These settings become filters. They highlight and enhance some information, and block some. We treat these estimates as 100% true, but often this is not the case. We feel as part of us, but they are not. Examples: in relation to ourselves, in general, “Not beautiful, but smart” “Who needs you like that” “Nothing shines for you, you are average” to the assessment of achievements If there is no result, then nothing else matters. If you are not the best, then it is not worth paying attention to someone who can give an assessment. Talking about your achievements means bragging; people themselves will notice and praise.🌿What to do? You need to find these settings, analyze and formulate new settings that suit you. Questions that can help:✒️What are the grounds for such an assessment?✒️Is the person who told me this an expert in this?✒️What are the reasons to trust him?✒️What do I think about this?✒️What would I tell a child in this situations? From my point of view, what would be the right thing to do? These attitudes can be difficult to find and “neutralize”; often you need keen hearing and the ability to engage in battle with them and win it. This is what a psychologist has, so working with him can help move the situation in a positive direction.➡️Start exploring what is happening in detail, achieving a clear vision of the situation. The breeding ground for devaluation is a superficial view, over-demanding and lack of context. When we look at the result without context, it can feel almost weightless and insignificant. Only taking into account all the conditions of the situation can we give a correct assessment. For example, a person is not satisfied with how much time he devoted to his health and sports in the past year. What happened there? Moving, illness of a loved one, difficulties at work. It is important to look very detailed and specific. And then the very fact that he did something in this direction is already a lot, this is already an achievement. We are not talking about justification, but about understanding the situation, one’s real capabilities. Often there is a replacement of the real “I can” with what “should”, “in principle, it is possible.” Should not mean you can. We cannot do more than we have the capacity to do. What to do: in each situation where devaluation occurs, write down all the details of the context. Discuss this with someone you trust. Often the critical voice is much louder than the fair one. It takes time, and sometimes professional psychological support, to start treating yourself and your successes differently.➡️Start treating yourself well If you have looked at yourself critically all your life, then it will take time and a different experience in treating yourself. This will be a seed from which a new attitude towards yourself can grow over time. Try to remember if someone looked at you with kind eyes and acceptance? What would this person say now, looking at you, your efforts and successes? It happens that such a person did not exist. And it's very sad. Then he can gain such experience by working with a psychologist. Then, over time, become the kind of person for yourself who looks at himself with interest, in a kind way, and can give a fair assessment, since he has complete information.🌿What to do? Regularly train yourself to look at yourself with kind eyes, find supportive words for yourself, and celebrate your successes. The ability to value yourself and enjoy your achievements can be briefly described by the following formula (detailed description in the text above): 🌐 Fair assessment = give yourself the right to yourself evaluate (1) + a clear vision of the situation (2) + a good attitude towards yourself (3) How fair are you to yourself? not to devalue yourself? How are you doing with the components of fair assessment? What can you rely on? what is missing? Working with a psychologist makes it easier and faster to cope with devaluation and self-criticism. Come for a consultation. Appointment: +79165059549].