Every therapy has obvious and less obvious goals. So, clients often come with one main goal - to remove the symptom. Now, I have a problem, I want it to just go away. And this, on the one hand, is some absolutely natural desire - something is tormenting you, complicating your life, you understand that you cannot solve this problem yourself and you go to a specialist who helps you for payment. It seems that everything is quite realistic. But, on the other hand, due to the peculiarities of the world in which we live, such as: - the speed of solving a problem often becomes more important than the quality of this solution, - focus on other people’s experience and other people’s achievements often prevails over focus on oneself and your needs, - efficiency and cloudless productivity of the individual seem to become the main aspiration in life, - pain becomes something that is important to avoid in various ways - pills, alcohol, etc., so as not to lose productivity, etc... This goal (to get rid of the problem) often, at some deeper level, turns out to be not as realistic as it might seem. Because it turns out that the disappearance of a symptom is not determined by the fact that the psychologist simply takes it and erases it like an eraser. That a psychologist does not have sacred knowledge for this. That in most cases this does not happen quickly, easily or painlessly. Moreover, often the problem that we feel as recent, appearing, for example, with going to work or with the birth of a child, is actually rooted deep in the past and is not manifesting itself now for the first time, but simply at a level of intensity that is no longer it turns out not to notice. Therefore, one of the less obvious goals that are set for therapy is to confront the client with responsibility for his changes in “today.” With the understanding that in order to cope with the problem, you need to work - remember, touch those areas your personality, which you don’t want to touch at all, feel this very pain, face limitations, difficulties, etc. At the same time, it is important not only to gently reveal all this to the client, but also to express your readiness to be there in the process of experiencing a variety of feelings regarding this understanding .Because taking responsibility for change, among other things, involves a very strong grieving process. First of all, it’s about the fact that there is no longer that “adult” who will come and “fix” everything. Easy, without pain and, in an absolutely ideal world, with an encouraging slogan. And although this process can be shared with a supportive and enduring other (which is what a psychologist becomes), it still turns out to be extremely painful and difficult. And this is indeed a very difficult experience for which some clients are not ready. However, in case of successful cooperation, possible and truly having healing potential...Ivan Sanarvin - psychologist, clinical psychologist.