From the author: Olga Sergeevna Moskalenko How often to carry a child in your arms It’s not uncommon for young mothers to hear from pediatricians, grandmothers, or simply “especially friendly” people, “Don’t carry a child in your arms, because it will get used to it!” “Leave him in the crib alone more often, otherwise he will get used to being held and then he will suffer!” Poor mothers themselves happily want to cuddle their baby, and patiently put him in the stroller, saying: you need to raise him from the cradle. This is all nonsense. Forget about pedagogy when it comes to the harmonious psychological and physiological development of your child. After all, a child who was hardly carried in his arms as a child gets used to the fact that requests for help are ignored. The baby asks to be taken out of the playpen and picked up, and he is transferred to a high chair “so that he doesn’t get used to being capricious.” And then he cries and begs again... It’s probably clear that in this situation it’s difficult to grow a self-confident person? A baby who has been carried in his mother’s arms for a sufficient amount of time gets used to the fact that his mother is always somewhere nearby, that he is not alone. This feeling is subconsciously reinforced and in the future it is as if invisible wings remain behind the person’s back. He is not afraid of new things, because he feels the strength to do this new thing. This “manual” period, which is necessary for the child, lasts, as a rule, until the baby can crawl, although even then the mother must be in the baby’s field of vision at all times. . To be held is a natural need for a newly born person. During the last months of pregnancy, the baby's body is closely confined to the walls of the uterus. He feels warm and comfortable there. After birth, the child finds himself in a huge, unfamiliar, cold space. He is not comfortable and scared in a crib or stroller. If mom is even a meter away, it’s incredibly far for him. The baby's whole being longs for his mother to take him in her arms and hug him close. Her hugs, as well as the smell, heartbeat and breathing rhythm remind him of the comfort of intrauterine existence, and he becomes calm. It turns out that if we carry a newborn in our arms more often, we will help him adapt more easily to his new environment. It has been proven that a baby under 6 months does not perceive himself separately from his mother, so any mother’s absence, or her replacement by nannies, aunts, or grandmothers becomes real stress for the child, which in the future contributes to the development of various psychological disorders. And for complete harmonization of the feeling of one’s body and oneself as a person, tactile sensations are necessary for a child, like food or air. Massages are important here, as well as teaching a naked child on the mother’s bare stomach (skin-to-skin contact), and mother’s hugs, and sleeping near the mother’s body, and breastfeeding. Psychologists have noticed that children whose mothers often carried them in their arms during childhood cried less, grew up calmer, became more independent and asked to be held less often at a later age. It should be especially noted that such children were more successful in their studies. If we refuse to carry a baby in our arms, often leaving him alone with himself and toys, we deprive him of the leading activity of childhood: communication for the sake of communication, this slows down his psychological development and leads to the emergence of neurosis. In addition, not only the baby, but also the mother needs such a natural “tame” period. The mother begins to better understand and feel her child, feels tenderness for him, and is more likely to get used to her new social role as a mother..