When I was a child, our neighbors (husband and wife) were constantly arguing, their screams could be heard by everyone in the area. One day, a neighbor came running to us and, gasping for breath, with tears in her eyes, asked to call the police, or He would kill her. Mom handed her the phone. But the neighbor did not call... Gradually the flow of her words and tears faded away, she returned to her apartment. Then there was another very similar case, after which she stopped coming to us, perhaps she found another source of salvation. At that time I didn’t yet know about the drama triangle or Karpman’s triangle (the author of the concept is Stephen Karpman). Relationships in the triangle are a kind of game in which people create circumstances where they can rightfully experience certain feelings, including negative ones, perform certain or desired actions and at the same time avoid responsibility. Being in one role or another allows the participants in the interaction to receive their own special benefits. Roles The victim is the main character. Its distinctive feature is infantility. She believes that nothing depends on her, she is not able to influence her life, she is not able to solve the problem. The victim does not take responsibility. If it is not capable of influencing anything, then why do anything at all? Why take the action? It is much more pleasant to shift the responsibility to someone else and wait for salvation. But the game will not be a game if there are no other characters in it, the victim cannot play it alone. The aggressor gives a powerful impetus to start the game. And although it is always the victim who invites into the game, the aggressor is the trigger for launching all processes. The aggressor always knows exactly how to live, who should do what. He is irritated by the victim’s indecision, her inability to make decisions, and infantilism. It is easy for the victim to provoke him into aggression. And here the rescuer comes into play, the one who can maintain the game indefinitely. It is thanks to his efforts that the victim fails to break out of the vicious circle. Of course, if one rescuer stops playing his role, the same victim tries to replace him with another. As a rule, she succeeds. And in this case, she may attack the previous rescuer with righteous anger: how could he abandon me at such a moment. And in this sense, the victim becomes an aggressor towards his former rescuer. She will complain to anyone who will listen to her about how unfairly the previous rescuer treated her and call on new rescuers to protect her. How does the Game happen? The mechanism of the game is such that the victim always invites into the game. She does not want to take responsibility and therefore it is important for her to create for herself such circumstances in which she can calmly remain in infantilism for quite a long time. She unconsciously provokes the aggressor to attack, and then, when this happens, she looks for a rescuer who would do for her what she does not want to do herself. It is important to note that the roles in the triangle are not static, each character can change their role: the victim becomes the aggressor , the aggressor is the victim or the rescuer and vice versa. And the triangle can spin indefinitely as long as the participants enjoy the game and the secondary benefits from it override the desire to solve the problem. What benefits do the players receive? The victim may not take responsibility, shifting it to the rescuer. She likes the game itself. The rescuer begins to feel needed and useful. The pursuer may feel impeccably right. Each of the roles is toxic, and despite the “benefits”, the roles destroy relationships and do not provide the opportunity to face reality. The game is addictive and it becomes difficult for the “players” to break out of the circle. The only chance to be a winner in this game is not to join it. Realize that you are in a triangle or are being pulled into it and say “stop.” What did my mother do in the case that I described above? She just gave the victim back her responsibility: you know what to do, here’s the phone, call. Do It